


Lost in the Maze

by kanronotatsu



Category: Prisoners (2013)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-16
Updated: 2015-07-06
Packaged: 2018-03-30 21:09:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 24,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3951838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kanronotatsu/pseuds/kanronotatsu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An FBI Agent is sent to Conyers to work on the case with Detective Loki.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A prelude

_First of all, if you haven't seen the Prisoners movie yet, then watch it, because it's awesome. I followed the plot, but this story will focus on Detective Loki, so I left out the Keller Dover storyline entirely. I hope you enjoy. :)_

_Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, only my OC._

* * *

I did everything to survive those few months while the internal investigation lasted. I went to see movies, went swimming, I even took a dancing lesson just to keep my mind occupied, and not to turn a drunkard – again. It was a very dangerous time for my sanity and painfully achieved sobriety. I was off the bottle for as long as 5 years and I didn't want to screw it up now. They revoked my badge and gun for the time being and I reverted to an ordinary citizen. Life was uneventful and excessively boring for a battle trained agent like myself. In a desperate effort to keep my mind off of all the things that happened – not that forgetting was that easy – I even went back to school, I signed up for an evening class of criminal psychology at Quantico I was always interested in.

The interrogations were almost painful, but in the end, after six months of paid holiday, I was off the hook. The decision didn't give me as much relief as I thought it would. It was me myself after all, and not all the investigators and internal affair agents, who couldn't get my mind off all the little details, and all the clues I missed along the way. I've struggled with nightmares for a long time. My therapist worked hard to get me out of the dark and make me believe that I was not solely responsible for everything. It was a long trip but after 4 or 5 months of sleeping pills, and relentless therapy I got to sleep for the first time without waking up soaked in sweat and frightened. But it was with me all the same, every night and day, and there was no free moment of my life after that, when I did not think about what happened.

However, I thought it would do good to go back to active work. My therapist agreed, but the environment wasn't at all friendly back at the office. There was no trust between me and the others, so I decided to apply for a transfer. It was a tough decision, but when I went to my boss to hand in the paper he seemed pleased. I was less than happy, but admitted that it was indeed necessary; I could not continue work in a hostile environment, where no one would trust me or my abilities anymore and, above all, no one would have any respect for me. I picked my new place by pulling out a map and blindly pinpointing a location with a pencil. It fell somewhere in the west of Pennsylvania, so I chose the field office at Pittsburgh. It was moderately close, not that I had any relations to come back home to. As I found out afterwards, the Pittsburgh office was shorthanded right then, so it was like by faith for the pencil to fall to that area. I needed a few weeks to pack my things for the movers and put the old stuff in a container which I paid for a year in advance. Then I was off, and I never even looked back.

My first few weeks at the Pittsburgh office were quite uneventful. There weren't many cases which needed my help, but I was happy to just spend the days fitting in and doing paperwork. Everyone heard about my little "fiasco" in Washington, and they were wary of me in consequence, but gradually they came to acknowledge my expertise and experiences despite my big failure. On the third week there came a case which was right down my alley, a double kidnapping, in a moderately big town called Conyers. My boss sent me with definite directions as to cooperate with the local police. I did a check up on the police station, and from the news – which travelled a bit faster than official information – I got to know that the case was in the hands of the most successful cop in the area, a Detective Loki. He had an impeccable record, each and every case he got he solved before. I was a little nervous to plunge right back in the middle of work, although I still trusted my instincts. But deep inside I was just as shaken up as six months ago, however much I tried to hide that fact, even from myself.

* * *

I arrived at the police station in Conyers almost 5 hours after the girls, Anna Dover and Joy Birch, had been reported missing by their parents. It was a long drive from Pittsburgh, and I had to pack some things before setting out to the cold mountainside. Thanksgiving was almost over. What I knew so far was that the brother of one of the girls, namely Ralph Dover said they have seen an RV parked outside one of the houses, and it was missing after the girls disappeared. Over the night they found said RV and Detective Loki captured the first and so far prime suspect, Alex Jones, who tried to run away when they approached the RV. He was still in custody, interrogated by Loki.

When I arrived I went straight to captain O'Malley to introduce myself, then asked to see Detective Loki at once. I wanted to know what he thought about the case so far. I could tell he wasn't in the least pleased to see me, not to mention bothering him in the middle of interrogation. He was a strange spectacle. By what I knew about him I imagined a rigorous, neat, possibly irritating, but above all straight-laced individual, like an honor student, what with his perfect record. As I set eyes on him for the first time I could tell instantly that he was everything, but that. The first thing I noticed about him was his haircut. He wore his hair slicked back, leaving it longer on the top of his head, and cut to inches on the sides. Not the regular police haircut, not that it looked bad on him, or anything. Then there was that star-shaped tattoo on his neck, half covered by the blue shirt he was wearing. He seemed in dire need of a shave and the dark circles around his eyes told me that he's been up all night. He looked me over with the curiosity of a cop, I got the feeling that he could evaluate me as a person just by that first look. Finally his eyes locked onto mine, big, ocean blue orbs, hard and unwavering. His brows furrowed and he blinked hard while extending his hand to me.

'Hello, I'm Special Agent Christina Browning. The Pittsburgh FBI office sent me to help you investigate the case.'

'Loki.' was his introduction. His gruff behaviour didn't make me like him, that's for sure. 'We don't want the FBI here. You can go back and tell them we don't need any help, thank you.'

When he finished he turned around to walk back to the interrogation room. The Captain called out to him.

'Come back, right now. I'm sorry, Agent Browning, he didn't mean it.'

Loki turned around reluctantly, he clearly meant it, and we all knew that. We both got the order to cooperate with each other, and now I wasn't happier than him at the prospect of working with him for who knows how long. I had enough of others being reluctant to work with me. Besides, as far as I knew he still could be a dumbass, despite solving all his cases so far. Those cases could've been all petty thefts and vandalism in this area.

'How are you progressing with this Alex Jones?' I asked him, after we went to the interrogation room.

I watched the wide-brimmed spectacled kid sitting at the table from behind the one-way mirror, he was worn out and still wet from the rain. He stared blankly in front of himself, and rhythmically rocked back and forth on the chair. He seemed totally out of it, not a glimpse of knowledge or intelligence in his eyes, just complete darkness. It was terrifying in a way. I instantly thought that if he took the kids, he couldn't have been doing it on his own, there was no way he could make them just magically disappear in a few hours.

'I'm getting nowhere. He claims he didn't see the girls playing on his RV. I first thought that he was high, but he only has a very low IQ. It's in his medical records. There's no way we could get any more out of him.'

Loki was now almost compliant, sitting on a table, watching the monitors just like I did. He looked very tired for a second, with his shoulders slumped, and he gave that curious hard blink once or twice. I guessed it was a facial tick of his, probably more apparent when he was tired or worked up. Then he looked at me again with his brows furrowed and I knew something unpleasant was coming.

'Why did the FBI send you? I sure didn't ask for their help.'

'You realise that kidnapping is FBI jurisdiction, right?' I asked him, a bit surprised. 'You don't have to ask, we come either way.'

'So you are taking over the case? Just like this?'

He now seemed a tad bit too angry, he even stood up, and took a step towards me. As he was a good 6 inches taller this was a bit intimidating. I just couldn't get my head around him. Why all this fuss about a sole FBI agent? It's not like we came marching in here with a whole troop.

'Hey, calm the fuck down, I won't take over the case. I'm only here to help you out. I got the order to cooperate with you, so we'll be partners on this one, all right?'

'Partners?' he sneered, like it was the funniest thing he heard this night. 'It's the funniest thing I heard tonight.'

It was hard not to retort.

'This is how it will be until we find those girls.' Hopefully sooner than later, I thought. 'You should get used to it.'

'I don't need a partner, okay? So just don't stand in my way, and we'll be good.'

Now I was the one angry. Just who the fuck did he think I was, some rookie, fresh out of the academy? I wanted to punch him in the face, just to emphasise that I wasn't going to make myself invisible, but I fought the urge. I have learned to take control of my impulsive behaviour over the years. So instead of punching him, I just clenched my hands a few times, counted to ten, and focused on the lad sitting right opposite to us.

'Now listen here, I had dozens of disappearance cases, so I'm no rookie on this. Instead of bitching you should focus, because there are two little girls out the fuck knows where, and their only hope is us to find them, and bring them home, safe. So if you can't put away whatever the hell you got against me, then drop the case right now. I will look for another detective, who can and will work with me.'

I was looking into his eyes, trying to read his reactions, but those cold blue orbs didn't even flinch, and the brows only furrowed deeper. Only the blinking got a bit more excessive, but then it stopped.

'You done?' he asked after a brief, but very uncomfortable silence and staring contest.

'Yes.'

'Good. Let's go down to forensics, see if they have anything which might help.'

Then without another word he walked out the door, expecting me to follow behind. I took a deep breath and decided to only concentrate on finding the two girls, and not get into a cockfight with this obnoxious detective, over something trivial. I saw long and tedious days ahead.

* * *

We came back from forensics with jack shit. They couldn't find anything in the RV, or on the RV, or just anywhere near that could confirm that Alex Jones was our man. No trace of the girls. They sent a search team to the woods right after they got Jones, but so far nothing came up. Loki told me that Jones had an aunt, and he lives in her backyard in the RV, so we decided to give her a visit. There wasn't much else we could do anyway. Interrogating Jones further would've been just a waste of time, Loki had already spent hours with him, but to no avail.

We arrived at Holly Jones' house just before dawn, but the lights were on inside. I guessed the lady was a lousy sleeper. Loki looked into the car parked right in front of the back door of the house when the lady came out, she must've heard us coming.

'It was my husband's. For sale if you want it.'

She stood by the door, with a dog in her hands, looking at us with a bit of suspicion in her eyes. I didn't want to scare her, so I took out my badge and told her briefly why we came at this time of the night. She seemed shocked at first, then became resigned and sorrowful, but never was incredulous. It seemed that she partly counted on something to go wrong with her nephew, but didn't think it would be this serious.

She led us to the boy's room, which was small, with only a few personal things in it. There was a picture of a man, framed and displayed on a nightstand by the window. Loki picked it up, and Holly Jones explained that it was her husband, who took off some five years ago after a fight with her. He never came back. The man was leaning against an RV, probably the same one that Alex Jones was using now, and had long, blonde hair. _Hippie era._ There was nothing more of importance in the house, but Loki arranged with the forensics to go and search the boy's room, just to be sure. Holly Jones accompanied us out, and we both gave our cards to her, in case anything pops up in her mind later. Usually nothing does.

Back in the car I felt a bit of the tension gone from earlier. I watched Loki from the corner of my eyes as he drove the car, but he never looked over to me. I didn't really mind, I always like to scrutinize people in peace and quiet, if I may. His facial tick wasn't really prominent right now, so he was either sleepy or relaxed. My bet went to the first one. I noticed other tattoos, on his fingers, as far as I could make out they were some astrological symbols, but I could be easily wrong. I decided that as long as he was silent, he was a very attractive man. A work of art, if you like, with those big blue eyes and insanely long eyelashes which became more apparent thanks to the side-light. Even the heavy dark circles under his eyes and the also dark stubble could do nothing to diminish his evident charm.

I suggested we go home for some hours. He didn't really want to, time was of utmost importance of course, but he agreed that we won't be of any use sleepy and exhausted, so we decided to meet at the station again, early morning the next day. He called in to give our positions, and dropped me off at my motel room.

'The FBI couldn't find a better place?' he asked, smirking at me, while I got out of the car.

I shut the door behind me and showed him my middle finger while walking away.

'Night to you too.' he shouted after me from the car with not really covert smugness.

I ignored the comment and unlocked my door. He only drove away after I got inside the room. Detective Loki, a true gentleman. The thought made me grin widely.


	2. The first clues

I was back at the station an hour later. I just couldn't sleep, so I took a quick shower instead, and came back to look over some files regarding Alex Jones' background. He lost his parents at the age of six, as his aunt told us, and had been living with Holly and her husband for the rest of the time. He had no criminal record of any kind, not even a parking ticket. I could not get my head around the boy, but I had a faint suspicion, you can call it a gut feeling, that somehow he was connected to the case. The whole set-up was just eerie and strange. Besides, we had no other clue except him, so I had to hold onto that one piece of circumstantial evidence we got, that he tried to run away. Other than that, we got jack shit on him, almost less than nothing. And that wasn't enough. The parents, Nancy and Franklin Birch, Keller and Grace Dover came in for a polygraph test just after daybreak. They all seemed worn out and desperate, still struggling to even comprehend what has just happened. They all passed the test of course. I exchanged a few words with them, but it was not the time and place to bore more into their minds. Keller Dover though, he troubled me a bit, he was just too much on edge, and by the desperate and slightly nervous look in his eyes I knew he will be trouble later. After they were gone I went for a quick walk in the neighbourhood to get some fresh air. At that time of the year Washington was cold too, but here it was bone-chilling, almost winter, I thought my breath would freeze in mid-air. After half an hour of loitering around the back of the station – I didn't want to wander further, for fear of being lost in the foreign city – I sat down again with my files on Jones, and the interrogation videos. Loki really did everything he could besides getting violent. I watched his technique, he tried everything to put off Alex, he stood so close to him that it would've been uncomfortable to anyone, but the kid didn't budge. Not once in those 2 hours he uttered anything which might suggest he did something to those girls. As it was we couldn't even prove he saw them at all in his whole life.

Loki arrived sharp at 8 am. I was pouring coffee in a cup, it was black, hot and awful. I squinted when I tasted it, but drank it anyway, I needed the caffeine intake to keep me moving. Loki had a papercup in his hand, some brand name was written on it, he was smart enough to bring his own coffee to the station. He looked at me with the cup in my hands.

'You should not drink that, it tastes like tar.'

'It's too late.' I said, and tossed the empty cup in the rubbish bin. 'So, where are we now?'

'I went to see the parents in the morning, but I couldn't get anything more from them.'

He sat down on his desk while I processed the information he just blurted out.

'You went to see the parents without me?!'

He looked up at me and shrugged his shoulders, like it wasn't a big deal. He either could not see that I was genuinely angry, or did not want to see it. I guessed the latter was true.

'I figured I could do something useful, as I couldn't really sleep. I updated them on some information regarding the case, that's all. That Dover guy is clearly on edge...' he murmured, and looked as if he was drifting to some other world. 'I need to talk to the Captain.' he said, and just bolted towards O'Malley's office without any further explanation.

'We're not finished here!' I yelled after him, but all the attention I got was from everyone else in the room. They all looked at me with pity in their eyes, but went about with their work as if nothing had happened. I was furious and stomped after Loki. He was apparently trying to convince the captain to hold Jones in custody for a day longer when I arrived. He glanced at me, slightly annoyed, but ignored my presence and told the captain that Anna Dover's father will become trouble if we were to release Jones right now.

'I only ask for another day.'

As much as I agreed with him, there was really nothing we could do to keep him in without pressing charges.

'We don't have anything to hold him in for.' I pointed out. 'And we can't charge him either.'

The captain was nodding approvingly to my statement, but Loki flashed a really dark expression towards me.

'You didn't see the guy. He would...'

'No, I didn't, because you didn't tell me you were going to see them.' I shot back at him. 'But I saw him earlier this morning, and I know he is on edge. Still, we cannot break the rules.' I stated.

A staring contest ensued, which the captain broke by saying that we needed to concentrate on the case only, and that I was right, we cannot hold Jones in anymore. Loki shook his head, blinked a few times, then stormed out of the office. We locked gazes with the captain.

'Sorry, he can be a bit difficult sometimes, but he's the best detective I've ever known.'

That was hardly any consolation for me.

I found Loki sitting at his desk, burying his face in his hands. I sat down beside him and showed him a piece of paper which I just printed out before he came in.

'I've got a list of registered sex offenders in the Fairmount Circle area. We should go and check them out.'

He looked up at me and I could not decide if he was still furious or not. I don't like it when I can't read other people's expressions, it makes me uncomfortable not to know what they feel. But sometimes I couldn't read Loki. Other times it was evident what thoughts crossed his mind, it was all written on his face. Looking into his eyes told me nothing this time, they were just a pair of icicle blue orbs, nothing more.

'This list?' he asked, holding another piece of paper in front of me.

Totally against my intentions I smiled at him, almost immediately regretting the action. I wasn't the one who should play nice - or nicer - here. But it was good to know that our minds worked in the same pattern, at least it gave me some kind of reassurance that we could work well together – if he would let me.

'Yes, exactly the same. Let's go check them out. I'll get the first half, you the second half, and we'll meet at the last one, a Father Dunn. Is that okay with you?'

I waited for some argument, that he won't follow my orders, or something like that, but not a word came. He just nodded, circled the four names in the middle of the page and then was off without any further ado. I sat there for a few second, pondering on why the hell does he put up a fight on the trivial things, while letting me sort of order him around, but I didn't want to complain. A minute later I was in my car too, driving towards the first address on my list. I could find my way pretty easily, thanks to the GPS, but I tried to remember the layout in case I might need it later on.

My four names didn't lead anywhere. They were all "recovering" from whatever the hell was wrong with them, not that I believed a word they had said. But it was evident, after much searching around and checking alibis, that they were not the kidnappers we were looking for. All this questioning tired me, and when I got back to the car to go to Father Dunn's place I had to stifle a yawn. I felt that if Loki too haven't found anything either, then we just wasted a whole afternoon on the wrong lead. If it were to affect the girls in any way I might not be able to forgive myself for it. I shook my head slightly, to chase away the negative thoughts, and started the car.

It was almost 10 pm when I arrived at Dunn's house which was right next to the church. I wondered if they still let him preach, even after everything that happened. Loki's car was parked in front of the house, but I couldn't see him anywhere. The bastard didn't wait for me! That was all I needed for that night, I was ready to shout his head off. I was already tired of playing the good guy which I was totally not. I'm not saying that I was aggressive, but I had a certain style which was difficult to get used to. I would normally swear and lash out at anyone who irritates me and I am way too easily irritated. I learned to take control of my impulsive behaviour when I joined the FBI. My partner helped me a lot in it, but I realised too that I just can't act out with  _anyone._ There were moments when I knew I had to keep my cool, and I did, like with suspects and witnesses or relatives, even if they were really getting on my nerves. But I did not hold back at all with co-workers, fellow agents, or my partner. I didn't even know why I tried to be nice with Loki, I guess my recent experiences made me more wary of people, and the things they might think of me. Now I decided to drop the act, it was ridiculous to tiptoe around this sole detective and make myself even more fidgety.

While I thought this over I got to the front door which was open and went inside the house. Not a single soul was in the living room, but I heard noises from the adjoining room. First I couldn't make out what they were talking about, only heard fragments.

'Who's... buddy down there...' then it started shouting, and I recognized Loki's voice 'What's his name? Who is he?!' then some squealing noises.

I rushed to the other room, which was the kitchen, but I did not find him immediately. There was an old fridge obstructing my view, to the left of the door. Only when I went around I saw Loki leering over a man – probably Father Dunn – both over some hole in the house which I guessed was once the cellar. Loki wasn't shouting anymore, but haven't stopped talking either, he didn't notice that I was there at all.

'I spent six years in Huntington Boys' Home, father. Hurting a fuck like you would be a real treat for me.' he said all this in a low menacing tone.

That's when I stepped in. I grabbed his arm and pulled him back. He let go of Dunn and stumbled back, then wrung his arm out of my hand and stared at me with so much hatred in his eyes that I almost took a step back instinctively. But I was still angry at him, so instead of retreating I took a step forward and confronted him on his behaviour.

'The fuck are you doing?!' I asked him nicely.

His look instantly changed, like he had just noticed that I was in the room at all. He looked confused for a second, then changed back to angry as he answered my question.

'There's a corpse down there.' he pointed to the dark square where the father was still laying, sobbing.

The blood ran cold in my veins and I felt my legs tremble.  _No, no, no, this can't be happening, not now._ I feared to ask.

'Relax, it's not the girls'. It's been there for a while now.'

Loki must have noticed my sudden silence and probably guessed its reason too. We looked at each other for a while, me contemplating how to deal with him now, and if I could still shout his head off or not; and him thinking about whatever, I could not read him, again. I broke eye-contact first to lean down and help the priest to his feet. I led him to a chair and told him to sit down.

'Whose body is in your basement?' I asked.

'I questioned him already, he said he doesn't know.' Loki interrupted me.

I shot a menacing look at him.

'Shut the fuck up, I heard that whatever you call "questioning".' I turned back to face the old man.

He was in a really bad shape, unshaven, the smell of booze coming strong from him. I quickly glanced around and I could count three empty bottles just in the kitchen.

'Father, answer me, whose body is down there?'

He lifted his head a little and a despairing look came into his eyes.

'I don't know, he never said his name?'

'So you killed a man, and you don't even know his name? I can hardly believe that, father. You must've had a good reason to...'

'He came to me for a confession. He said he killed children, 16 children. He bragged about it. I convinced him to come back, and...' here he broke off, and started sobbing again, shaking violently.

'It's okay, father, it's okay.' I said, then I took Loki by the arm and dragged him back to the living room.

I got my phone out and called the station to send a forensic team and the coroner over, then turned to talk this over with my supposed "partner". He still looked thunderous; clearly this incident rubbed him the wrong way somehow.

'You were too easy on him.' he reproached me.

'And you were too rough on him.' I snapped back 'And what did you get? Nothing! So stop criticizing my interrogation techniques. And generally, just shut the fuck up.'

He looked a bit astonished at my words, but didn't talk back, finally.

'So, what did you do here before I came in?' I asked him, trying to get him back to normal, by making him focus on the case instead of the priest.

'I knocked, nobody answered, so I came around to the window, saw him lying on the floor, then I broke in. Turns out he was only drunk, so I took a look around. The fridge was in an odd place...' he showed me where exactly '...and I found this when I put it back to normal. I went down and found a mummified body. The rest you know.'

He now stood beside the opening which once was the door to the cellar. The stairs have been removed, to prevent anyone from going down. I peered into the darkness, then decided to take a look at the body, so I sat down, my legs dangling over the edge, then just jumped. It was an easy landing. I looked back up at Loki, who was now holding out a flashlight for me. I took it from him and following his directions went to the dead body. It was tied to a chair, lying on it's side. A pendant, golden in colour, and a green shirt and khaki pants were the only recognizable pieces of garment he wore. Everything else was rotten away.

Loki helped me climb out of the cellar.

'The forensic team should be here shortly. You can wait for them and I'll take the Father down to the station.'

I agreed, and we went our separate ways. After Dunn was out of the house I took a look around. There was literally nothing in there, except an empty bottle here and there, which made me wonder how my place looked like when I was drinking. I hoped that not like this. When the forensics arrived I excused myself and let them do their work. I went straight back to the motel and wrote up a report for my boss at Pittsburgh, then went to sleep. I managed to stay like that for four hours, before the alarm woke me up.

* * *

Loki and the captain had already prepared Jones' release when I walked in in the morning. I felt a bit less tired due to that little sleep I got, and I was now cautious enough to bring my own coffee I bought along the way.

'I tell you boss, Dover will be trouble. Just a few more hours...'

Loki apparently still tried to keep Jones in. He wasn't happy when I arrived, it was clear by the way he rolled his eyes and shut up immediately when he saw me. I could care less.

'We discussed it already, there's no way we could keep him in.' I said.

'I have to agree, son. We gotta let him go.'

Loki looked from the captain to me and then back. He backed down without further ado, but shook his head in disagreement. He went to supervise the check-out of the Jones boy. His aunt was there to take him home, as the RV was wrecked. I understood Loki's point, and I myself wasn't too happy about Alex Jones getting free. But rules are rules, and above all we had to keep them.

'He has a point, though, Captain. Dover will be a problem. Does he know we're letting Alex go?'

'We didn't tell him, that's for sure.'

'Good.'

I left the captain's office and went after Loki. Alex signed the papers painfully slow, forming the letters of his name 'Alex Winterman Jones' like a first grader, who had just learned to write. I looked out to the parking lot, journalists were already swarming like flies around us.

'The vultures are here already.' I commented to Loki.

He remained silent, not even looking in my direction. I stared at him, partially angry, partially in disbelief. I just couldn't see why he was so hostile with me, but I started to care less and less with every passing minute.

'Oh, so now you won't even talk to me? How very mature.'

I left Loki's side and stepped before the Jones' to stop them from going out.

'I'll try to occupy the press for a while, I suggest you leave in that time.'

Holly Jones solemnly nodded her head and waited till I went out to greet the gathered journalists and reporters. I gave them a speech about how important it was that everyone who had seen something, or thought to knew something would fess up. I got them entertained for a while - I gave a few press conferences before - but when Holly and Alex walked out the door they pounced at them at once. The police officers kept the crowd away from the two, but suddenly a new problem arose. A pick-up burst into the parking lot and a minute later Keller Dover was upon Alex Jones, grabbing him, shouting 'TELL ME WHERE THEY ARE!'. I ran to the officers, some of them were on the ground, Dover knocked them down. Loki came from the station with some backup a second later. We managed to haul Dover away from the Jones boy, who was shaking and tearing up already. His aunt whisked him away, guarded by the police officers.

I stayed out to calm the press down, which I managed, although with great effort. I went inside to see turmoil everywhere, people talking, whispering between each other. Dover was in the captain's office, sitting in a chair, he calmed down a little bit, but still looked like hell. Loki entered the office just before me, he didn't seem pleased with the situation.

'I'm gonna show some mercy on you.' said the captain when I entered.

Loki stood like a statue, with his arms crossed, and brows furrowed, blinking excessively. When I came in, Dover looked up at me, then shook his head.

'What about what I just told you? Why aren't you sending someone to arrest the guy?'

'Tell Detective Loki what you just told me, I'm sure he'll look into it. Then you need to go home, be with your family.'

Said detective wasn't too happy about the prospect to look into anything related to Dover's paranoid fantasies, as far as I could see. Dover sighed, exasperated, then turned to Loki reluctantly.

'That asshole you promised to keep in custody... When I grabbed him in the parking lot, he said "They didn't cry until I left them". Right to my fucking face.'

I was a bit astonished and confused. Could Alex Jones have really said that? But why would Dover make something like that up? I saw that Loki was confused too, but he remained calm and detached.

'Just now in the parking lot?'

'What did I tell you? Right now in the parking lot.'

'Could anyone else hear him?'

'I'm not sure, he was quiet. He said it to me.'

'Are you sure you heard him right?'

Dover shot him a very angry look, than shook his head in disbelief.

'Jesus Christ, you think I'm making this up?!'

'I didn't say that, Mr Dover. I'm going to talk to him.'

Dover jumped up from his seat and turned to Loki, angry. I stepped closer to the two, hand on my gun, but Loki seemed to control the situation quite well. Although he didn't manage to calm Dover down, he did what he could, trying to convince him to go home and leave the matters in his hands. Dover was way over his head, shouting at Loki and finally storming out of the room. Loki turned to us, Captain O'Malley sitting idly at his desk, and me standing close to him, my hand still on my gun.

'What did I tell you, eh? What did I fucking tell you?! Just one more day, that's all I asked for.' then he stormed out after Dover.

I exchanged looks with the captain again, I felt guilty for not backing him up more, but there was nothing even I could do. I went after Loki and found him in the kitchen, ransacking the shelves.

'Dismantling the kitchen won't help.'

He stopped to look at me, then banged a cupboard door shut.

'What the hell do you want?'

'Look here, I don't know what you have against me and I don't really care either. We have to work together to solve this case, I thought you understood that.'

He leaned against the counter and crossed his arms before his chest. I anticipated a retort, but he only dropped his head and sighed.

'I never had a partner.' he blurted out.

I raised my brow, a bit puzzled at first what he meant by that. Then it clicked.

'Then quickly get used to it, or I'll kick your ass. Literally.'

He looked up and smiled a little, the first sign that he wasn't a giant asshole generally. I hoped that would finally break the ice between us. We really needed to team up to save the two little girls. And now we were back at square one, with nothing in our hands.

'What's next?' I asked him.

'I promised to talk to Alex.'

'What do you think of that?'

He mulled it over in his head, then blinked twice.

'I really don't know. Dover might have made it up, but...'

'But you don't think so. Neither do I. What do we do about it?'

'I'll go talk with Alex first. And after that...' he fell silent and brooding again.

'All right, then I'll check the Dover neighborhood again. I'd like to see the house the RV was parked at too.'

He nodded and got up from his sitting position. I saw a change in him, he became more focused and consequently more energized. It was a big contrast to his previous demeanor.

'Are we good, then?'

He looked down at me, he was close enough for me to physically feel the height difference. This time he wasn't intimidating, though.

'Maybe.' he murmured, then walked past me and out of the kitchen.

I stared after him for a long while, taking a few deep breaths. I didn't tell him, but I've always had a partner. Which is why for me the last half year was unfamiliar, and getting a new partner, who was so reluctant on working together was a bit painful. I enjoyed teamwork and brainstorming too, in my theory it always worked better than when you only had yourself to talk to. The latter could get you crazy in no time.


	3. The darkness deepens

The house was a typical small town one, with whitewashed walls and big windows, no fence anywhere. The lawn was unkempt and green only in small patches. It was no surprise, for the house was uninhabited since many years ago. I looked around, nothing moved as far as I could see. It was bitter cold, I hugged myself and rubbed my hands together to stop them from freezing off. I forgot my gloves at the motel.

I found nothing interesting on the house at all. It was a plain empty property, nothing more. The door of the opposite house just opened and a middle-aged woman stepped outside. She had a pack of rock salt in her hands, and sprinkled it all over her front porch and the yard. She noticed me, and eyed me suspiciously. I waved at her, then went to ask a few questions. When I showed her my badge she immediately became interested.

'I've already talked to the cops. That young detective, he questioned me.'

She said that with a bit of a smile, and I tried to imagine her flirting with Loki. I had to look down so she didn't see me grinning.

'Yes, I know, but I just want to ask, did you know the previous tenants of that house?'

'Not really. They moved to Easton a couple of years ago. Milland, that was their last name.'

'Do you think they knew the Dovers? Or the Birches?'

She considered that for a moment.

'I remember they had some quarrel with the Dovers once. Dunno what that was about.'

I thanked her after the usual, 'have you seen anything suspicious' question, and gave her my card. When I got back to my car, my phone ringed, apparently I forgot it in the car, for I had a few missed calls already.

'Yes.' I picked it up in a haste.

'I've called you a few times, what are you doing?' it was Loki's grumpy voice.

'I left the phone in the car. What is it?'

He sighed and I became irritated at once.

'We got the results from the mummy's autopsy. Nothing there, no fingerprint, dental, or DNA match. Dunn is sticking to his story, that he offed a serial killer.'

'Interesting. How did the talk with Alex go?'

I started the car engine to produce some heat, my fingers were freezing off while holding the phone.

'Like I expected. He claims he didn't say anything to Dover. I'm inclined to believe him. I called Dover too, he hanged up on me.'

'That's to be expected. Meanwhile, I think we should visit the previous owners of this empty house. They had some quarrel with the Dovers, years ago.'

There was silence at the other end of the line for a while. I could almost hear the gears turning in Loki's head.

'Do you think...'

'I don't  _think_  anything. We should just go and talk with them.'

The truth was, we didn't have any other leads. This was thin too, but worth a try either way. At least we could feel like actually doing something useful, instead of sitting at our desks, staring into space. I knew from experience how inactivity, especially physical, could affect the mindset of people.

'What's their name?'

'Milland.'

'I'll see if we have any record on them.'

'Right, they're supposedly living in Easton now.'

'Okay, come back to the station.'

* * *

A few hours later we were on our way to Easton. Loki was driving again, which I didn't mind, I had time to think at least. It seemed we had touched upon something this time. Turned out the Millands were part of an abduction case some twenty years ago. A little boy, named Barry Milland disappeared from the same lawn I stood not so long ago. And the same lawn Alex's RV was parked three days ago. They were pieces of a puzzle, but we had too few of the pieces to put together even a small part of that particular puzzle. I wasn't even sure they were part of the same puzzle. I leaned back in my seat, leaning my head on the headrest and watched as the scenery changed. Sometimes I looked over at Loki who seemed to be immersed in his own thoughts. I gathered up the courage to admire his profile from time to time, but I didn't want to come off as creepy. Three hours in the car was too much time not to think of a few things. First of all, I couldn't even remember when I last spent quality time with a man. Not to mention the last time I dated, that seemed like ancient history, eras ago. I tried to remain detached, but Loki was really a handsome man, right up my alley, so I couldn't help feeling a strong attraction towards him. I turned my head to look out of my side-window, preventing any looks in his direction.

'Is it possible that Barry Milland was taken by the same person who took these girls?'

Loki's voice sounded very loud suddenly, breaking my chain of thoughts.

'Not unlikely. We need to know more about it, though.'

'Have you worked on a case like this before?'

'Too many.' I turned to him, suddenly eager for some conversation 'Have you?'

He shook his head 'Never. Murders, yes, theft, many, but nothing like this. How do you do this regularly? I mean… It is so frustrating...'

'It helps to think about the lives you save. And don't try to put yourself in the children's shoes. You'll be like Dover in no time.'

'But… how do you  _not_ think about them?'

'I didn't say not to  _think_  about them. Think about them all you want. If it helps. Usually though, you'll just get overwhelmed by the responsibility. It doesn't help anyone if you freak out. So think, just don't ponder over  _what if_ s and  _they might_ s.'

'What do you do? What helps you?'

He seemed genuinely interested, which was all good, except I didn't like discussing my feelings and experience.

'I… It takes time and practise. You'll get used to it over the years, I suppose. The pressure, I mean. Not the crime.'

He didn't push the matter further, for which I was grateful. We spent the last hour of our journey in silence.

* * *

A woman in her late thirties opened the door for us. She looked suspicious and when we whipped out our badges she wasn't surprised.

'My mother was wondering when someone would show up.'

We exchanged glances with Loki, both of us slightly puzzled.

'Come in.'

The woman led us through the house, to the living-room, where an elderly lady sat in a rocking chair, watching a video of a little boy, playing in a garden. The older woman never even turned to our direction when the other introduced us.

'Mother, it's the police and the FBI.'

'I knew you would come.' she answered, still not taking her eyes off the TV. 'The same person who took Barry took those girls. I'm sure of it.'

'Mrs Milland, do you mind if I take a look around?' I asked her.

'Not at all, Elliott is in the kitchen, he will show you round. He knows where everything is.'

I nodded to Loki to stay here and question the old lady, while I went with her daughter out into the kitchen. Elliott Milland was in his late thirties too, Barry was the youngest of the three children. He showed me up to the second floor, into a storage room which was filled with plastic boxes up to the ceiling.

'Everything Barry ever touched.'

I looked around, the things were neatly put away, but it was evident that no one touched them for a decade at least. Judging from the amount of dust, I guessed that nobody cleaned this room either.

'Did you know the Dovers when you lived at Fairmount?'

'Not really. Once his son was playing on our front yard. My mother, she grabbed him, and tore his shirt a little. She was confused, you know, after Barry... I sent the boy home, he was a bit scared, but well, except for the torn shirt. An hour later his father came over and threatened me - he was drunk, but serious. I told him to leave, but he just sat on our front steps for a while. I called the cops on him.'

I mulled this over in my head. It wasn't related to the case, but it gave me a bit of an insight on Keller Dover's character. I thanked him and went to join Loki, who was finished with the questioning too. We said our goodbyes and departed.

'Anything interesting on your part?' he asked me while we got into the car.

'Nothing really. They clearly never got over Barry's disappearance.'

'Tell me about it. The mother couldn't tell me anything important either. She insists that the kidnapper is the same this time too.'

'That would mean this kidnapper has been in business for a very long time. Interesting.'

Loki frowned at me.

'Is it?'

'Yes. I mean, you have to be very good to avoid being arrested for so long. I'll dig around in the FBI files from the area, if this wasn't his first kidnapping, there has to be some record on it.'

'At least we're getting somewhere.' he said.

* * *

We got back to Conyers late in the evening, the station was all but empty. Outside it was even colder than in the morning, the first snow had already fallen, and the pavement was crusted in ice. I wasn't used to this rough weather and I felt that my winter clothes wouldn't cut it for this town.

'Washington is a lot nicer in winter.' I complained to Loki, who was very leisurely, he walked around with his jacket open.

'What are you talking about, it's barely winter at all.'

He opened the door for me to the station and let me in before him. Again it crossed my mind, that he's very gentlemanly, despite the bad boy look.

'Oh god, then I don't want to be here in January.'

He smirked at me, which was new, I hoped that meant he was finally warming up to our partnership.

'I suggest you don't forget your gloves and cap in your motel room next time.'

'Wow, Loki, this never occurred to me before.'

We were greeted by another detective, Chemelinski, who investigated the 'mummy in the priest's basement' case.

'Loki, I think you should talk to Father Dunn.'

Loki didn't seem too enthusiastic about it. He blinked hard a few times while draping his cloak on his chair.

'Why?'

'You should hear what he has to say. It might be related to your case.'

Loki looked at me and I saw from his eyes he didn't have high hopes for the drunkard priest to give some actual clues. But I nodded and he sighed, accepting my decision. This partnership was really coming along better than I ever imagined. We went with the detective to the interrogation room. Father Dunn wore the clothes we found him in, he stared into space when we entered. Loki's blinking got a bit harder when he saw the priest and he immediately crossed his arms before his chest. I remembered him saying something about Huntington Boys' School and I wondered what kind of bad experience he had with priests. I hoped that not the worst kind.

'Detective Chemelinski said you have something about this man in your basement. About the crimes he committed.'

I walked behind him and leaned against the one-way mirror, watching the priest's every move. I saw that he was sober, finally, and forlorn. I didn't think he would lie to us, though, he abandoned hope a long time ago.

'He said he was waging war against God.'

I felt puzzled. Somehow what he said turned a gear in my head, I just couldn't determine why. Call it instinct or anything, but I felt interested in his story. Even if it wasn't really related to our case at all. Loki, on the other hand, just shook his head, eyeing the priest's blank expression, then looking up at Chemelinski who stood by the door.

'Great, that's it?'

'Tell him how he took them.'

'He said he took the children in broad daylight. Sometimes more than one at a time.'

Loki straightened up, I knew he would be interested too after this statement.

'He told you that? Anything else? A name? Did he mention an accomplice?'

'No. He didn't say his name.'

And that was all, everything we could get out of Dunn. I doubted that he would lie, but these vague clues…

'Do you think it has anything do with our case?' Loki asked when we were back at our desks.

I pondered for a minute before answering.

'I don't know. We can't rule out the possibility. But that body is definitely not our kidnapper, so...'

Loki looked up at the ceiling, then rubbed his eyes, a sign of exhaustion. I could relate to him, a coffee was a bright prospect right then. My eyes wandered to the other side of the room where a TV was still on. The local news showed a candlelight vigil going on at Fairmount. Many people went to show their support for the families.

'I think we should be there.'

Loki glanced at me, inquiringly, so I pointed to the screen. He looked down on his shoes then up at me and grabbed his cloak.

'Let's go.'

* * *

Loki parked the car not too far from the Birch house. I went for a round, scanning the crowd for any suspicious movement, while Loki remained at the car, leaning against the hood, rubbing his hands together. It was reassuring a bit to see that he was cold too, he even put his cap on, in which he looked slightly ridiculous, to be honest. As I walked around the people who gathered there I noticed Franklin Birch, he just got there and met up with his family. I watched them from afar, he seemed to be in pretty bad shape, shaking as a leaf and wobbling too. But after a few minutes he could stand up straight, and they all walked back to their house. I turned back towards the crowd, I wondered if anyone of them might be our guy. It seemed unlikely to me that the kidnapper would go back to the scene of the crime, kidnappers rarely ever did it, but anything could happen. Except nothing happened here, I couldn't see anyone acting strange. I started to walk back to Loki, but then I saw he wasn't sitting on the car anymore. I looked around and spotted him in the crowd, apparently following someone through it. I immediately changed directions to catch up with him, although I couldn't see the one he was after. I rounded the crowd and got to Loki just in time to see him charge after somebody, down the hill, onto the other street. I ran after him, hoping to catch up. I still haven't seen the runner he was chasing. I saw him get behind a house, then a second later a dog started to bark. I followed Loki, now more cautiously, in case the runner would somehow turn my way. I didn't know that neighborhood, so I couldn't plan ahead, I had to prepare for every possibility. The dog still barked, but I heard nothing from Loki. I turned the corner behind the house too, and saw that he was on the other side of a low fence, his gun out, scanning the backyard of the house. There was a shed with its door open, he pointed the gun at that. But the dog was barking at something in the other direction, not the shed, but… A treehouse! I started running.

'The tree!'

Loki looked up, but it was too late, a figure jumped right on him.

'Loki!'

I jumped the fence and got my gun out too, pointed towards the lump on the ground which was Loki and the runner. Movement seemed to slow down in that moment, and nausea flooded my stomach. I saw in a blur as the attacker got off of Loki and started running again towards the other fence. By the time I realised that I was frozen in place, he was out of sight. Loki still ran after him, but he came back a few minutes later, with a very angry look on his face, panting.

'It was so fucking close.'

I already put my gun away and clenched my fists so they wouldn't be shaking. He didn't look pleased with me at all, and I couldn't blame him.

'What the fuck, Browning. What the fuck was that?'

I shook my head and started walking back to the car.

'Nothing, it won't happen again.'

'It better not.'

* * *

The next morning, after a few hours of troubled sleep, I found Loki beside his files at his desk, with his usual coffee. He looked like he never went home after the chase, his clothes were the same and his eyes had dark circles around them. I dropped down on my chair and rolled over to his side.

'Did you go home last night?'

He looked up at me and ran a hand through his hair which was becoming unruly.

'Do you mean this morning?'

He was right, we got back from the chase around 1 am. He drove me to the motel and let me go without a word. I guessed he was still pissed at me for what happened. I didn't want to provide any explanation for him, so I simply let him drive away. I was worried though, it was the first time since half a year that I had the chance to use my gun, and it was terrifying to know I could froze next time too. I took a shower before trying to sleep, but I knew this thing will worry me non-stop. But I had to deal with it alone, Loki didn't need to know about how insecure I felt about this.

'I had them draw a sketch of the suspect. They're gonna show it in the news.'

He leaned back in his chair and stretched his hands up in the air. I heard some joints pop in his shoulder and he groaned, satisfied.

'That's good. Very good. But you need a shower.'

He frowned at me and shrugged as if saying "I don't care".

''Cause I won't go through FBI files with you if you smell like this.' I finished my sentence.

Loki shot me an angry look at which I just smiled and rolled back to my desk.

'What do you mean FBI files?' he called after me.

'I want to take a look at similar cases in the area, I thought you might help me with that.' he walked over to me 'But you can't sit here until you took a shower.'

He raised his arms in protest 'All right, all right, I'll be right back.'

'I hope you have a change of clothes too!' I shouted after him when he was walking out the door.

He waved dismissively at me, then disappeared behind the swinging door.

He came back smelling like Axe and shampoo. Not my favourite combination, but it was definitely much better than the last one. He even put a new shirt on, this time it was dark blue, which complemented his eyes very well. While he walked towards my desk, he did a turn with raised hands.

'How do I look?' he asked jokingly.

'Better.' I said, turning to the computer.

He plopped down beside me and slumped into the chair. I opened the FBI database and gave the system the search parameters, however few we had. RV, child between 5-9 years old, multiple abduction, in daylight. Too many results came back.

'We have to narrow down the results.'

'Let's take a look at them.'

I opened a file, and then another, and another, we went through them, scrutinizing every aspect of those cases with precision. After two hours we could narrow down the cases for a better amount, all of it inside Pennsylvania, preferably in close quarters to Conyers. Barry Milland's file was not among the results, though.

'None of these are older than ten years old.' Loki pointed out the problem.

'I'm afraid that older files are not digitized yet.'

I turned with my chair to face Loki.

'I have to go back to Pittsburgh to take a look at them, if we want to explore that theory.'

He nodded, and blinked, but he didn't look convinced.

'I don't see any other clue or link to the children, so I don't think we have another choice.'

'Me neither. I don't like to be away from the scene, but since you're here... It will take some time till I can work myself through all those files.'

'Yeah...' he dropped his head back to look at the ceiling 'You know, I think an apology is due.'

My jaw dropped, but I quickly put myself together before he took his eyes off the ceiling to look at me again.

'I have to confess that I inquired about you at the FBI. I have a friend at the Washington HQ.'

I bit my lip, now I knew the reason he was so suspicious about me. That thing will come back to haunt me for all my life, and combined with yesterday's 'accident' I felt pretty shaken up.

'So… I'm sorry if I acted like a douche. And, I really never had any partner, so this is a totally new experience for me. Albeit not a bad one. Except that thing yesterday, that was not okay. What happened to you?'

'I… just…' I struggled to finds the words. 'I froze a bit, I guess… If you heard what happened...'

'Okay, okay, sorry, I didn't mean to bring it up. So, as I was saying, I'm sorry I've been… You know...'

I smiled at him. 'Apology accepted.'

An officer stormed into the room just at that second.

'Detective, Holly Jones reported Alex missing an hour ago.'

We both jumped up from our seats.

'What happened?'

'We found her dog dead on the road, it's been hit by a car. We called her about the dog and she confessed that Alex took the dog for a walk, but he never came back. She said she was afraid that if she reported it Alex would be taken back to jail.'

The officer held the collar Holly's dog wore. I recognized it from the time we were at her place. Loki took it and thanked the officer for his help.

'Do you think he ran away?' I asked him.

As for myself, I didn't think it likely. That boy couldn't live on his own. But Loki seemed distracted and confused.

'I don't know, but there's one more question here.'

He stormed away to the captain's office and tore open the door. Captain O'Malley was unfazed by his entrance, I guessed he was already used to his subordinate's impulsive behaviour. I started to get used to it too, so I sighed and walked after Loki, who just slammed the collar down on the captain's desk.

'Holly Jones' dog. It's been hit by a car. Apparently Alex took the dog for a walk, but never returned. His aunt didn't report it until we called her about the dog, because she thought it would get him in trouble. I thought you said we'll keep him under surveillance.' his tone was accusing and I could understand why. I didn't go into the room, just waited outside for the storm to pass.

'Well I thought you said the guy was innocent, that the runner at the vigil is our guy. I don't have the money to watch innocent people.'

I saw from the way the muscles clenched in his jaw, that Loki was getting too worked up.

'You told me you'd keep him under surveillance.'

'What do you want me to say?'

'Do you keep your word? 'Cause you could've just told me, give me a call, and I would've been there all night, and now we'd know where he is. I need to know where everybody is.'

Loki was right, and the captain knew that too. He made a quick retreat.

'All right, point made, point made.'

'You're clear with me, I'll be clear with you. I need to know where everybody is. If you do something different, please tell me.' with those last words he stormed out, leaving the collar on the desk.

I stared after him, then went in to tell the captain that I'll go back to Pittsburgh for a while. O'Malley was a bit distraught, and he waved me away with a 'Sure, sure, Agent Browning, you do whatever you see fit.'

I left him alone with his thoughts.

Loki was in the dressing room, sitting on the bench, head buried in his hands. I leaned against the cabinet and waited for him to acknowledge my presence. When he finally looked up, he seemed much more worn out and tired than a few minutes ago.

'I just… First the two girls, and now Alex Jones. How many more people will go missing until this case is over?'

I sat down beside him and tapped his shoulder gently.

'Don't let it get to you. Step over it. Alex Jones is lower priority, focus on the girls. Find that guy from the vigil, arrest him, question him.'

'What is this, daily affirmations?' he snickered 'But... I'll do just that. Or at least I'll try. I can't promise anything.'

I patted him on the back again, then stood up.

'Do or do not. There is no try.'

He rolled his eyes 'Hilarious.'

I laughed, for the first time in a long while, it was a strange feeling. 'Just keep me posted. If something happens, I want to know immediately. I'll leave things in your hands.'

* * *

_Thanks for reading, and please review, it would mean a lot to me to know what you think. :)_

 


	4. Searching for the light

Back at Pittsburgh I first reported to my boss. He wasn't too happy about us not finding any trace to the girls yet, he thought I would be much more productive. I asked for permission into the archives, which he gave. I spent the next day locked in the archive room, armed with many energy bars and enough coffee to keep an entire army awake for weeks. I progressed slowly, although I took precautions to eliminate unlikely cases early on. After almost 24 hours of digging into old files, I felt ready for a sleep, and gathered a hundred possible connected cases. I still needed to eliminate at least half of them, before I could go back to Loki.

Things progressed in Conyers too. A shop clerk reported our suspect in a nearby shopping mall. He apparently bought lots of children's clothes recently, which was promising on one part and foreshadowing on the other. I reassured myself and Loki that you wouldn't need to dress corpses, but even I felt that argument seriously flawed. Still, it was the only thing we could hold on to, so that we won't lose hope. The breakthrough came when I was almost finished with signing out all the files I found, and might be useful for our investigation. I picked up Loki's call in my car, driving to my place for a change of clothes. I was in a pretty good mood then.

'You wouldn't believe, I smell just like you did. I need a bath though, not just a shower.'

'I caught him.'

My jaw dropped to the floor. 'What? How, when?'

He told me the details. Apparently the shop clerk called back, and gave Loki the licence plate of the suspect. He went to the address and managed to arrest the guy. Seemed easy enough. The worst part came after that.

'I found boxes, full of snakes and bloody children's clothes. Christina...' he never once called me by my first name before, it showed just how shaken he was.

'Test the blood. Until...'

'I've already called the parents in. The Birches recognized some clothes from the pictures. And Dover too.'

It was the first time I heard Loki's voice break. He was on the edge, physically and psychologically too. Not many people could bear the strain of this job, especially if you were convinced you have just lost two kids and what you're looking for is dead bodies, not alive little girls anymore. I, on the other hand, still saw some hope.

'Listen, test the blood. Until then, nothing's sure.'

There was silence in the phone for a long while and I feared he really lost all hope. I couldn't say anything more to convince him to keep going. I wished I was there with him, to look into his eyes, and for him to see how confident I remained. All over the long years I worked on kidnapping cases, I learned to keep faith, and never waver. The only thing that could convince me that the girls were dead was to see their bodies on the coroner's table.

'Did you question that guy? What is his name?'

'… Bob Taylor. We didn't get anywhere with him either. He just asked for paper and pen, and he's drawing something since then... It's been hours.'

'Listen, I need you to step away for a while, go outside, get some air. Try to sleep a bit.'

'Sleep?' he chuckled slightly 'I don't think I can. Besides, I can't leave now.'

'Yes, you can, you have to, nothing's going to happen while you're not there, don't worry. And you need to sleep a bit, or you'll be useless later.'

I did my best to convince him to get away from the case for a while. I remembered my first cases as a rookie agent, with my temperament it was dangerous to get in too deep and become emotionally invested. I turned to alcohol then, which wasn't the best idea. Fortunately I later got a partner to keep me sane and moderately normal, but Loki had no one beside him right now.

'Yeah, okay.' his answer didn't convince me that he would do as I asked.

'I have to go home for a while, but then I'll drive right back to Conyers. I'll be there in the evening.'  _If I ignore the speed limit._

'Okay.'

* * *

I've barely left Pittsburgh when I got the call.

'Boss, what is it?'

'Browning, where are you?'

'I've just left Pittsburgh, why?'

'Guess you haven't heard it yet.'

I didn't know what he was referring to, but from his sigh I didn't count on anything pleasant. My heart skipped a beat.  _Oh, please god, not the girls, please._

'What is it?'

'That suspect they arrested in Conyers had just shot himself. While in custody, under that detective's watch.'

I let out the breath I was holding in, though this piece of news wasn't really comforting either.

'How, what happened?'

'Apparently this Detective… err...'

'Loki.'

'Detective Loki, he went into the interrogation room and got violent with the suspect. While the officers tried to restrain him, the guy managed to get a gun and shot himself in the head.'

I listened to this story with growing anxiety. It wasn't two hours ago that I talked with Loki, what happened in that time which put him so much on edge?

'I'm taking him off the case, find someone else.' my boss declared.

'No, wait, wait, boss. I can't just find someone else, he's been on the case since the beginning.'

'I'm sure there are other detectives...'

'In Conyers? No, there's no one with his track record and skills.'

'Then I'll send someone from here. We can't afford these kinds of mistakes.'

I took a deep breath. It was going to be a tough fight to keep Loki on the case, but I really needed him. Besides, getting used to another stranger was just going to slow things down. I told all this to my boss, who finally agreed to keep Loki.

'I don't know why are you so fixated on him, but all right. You get to keep him. I hope you know what you're doing.'

'Thanks, boss.'

'Don't thank me, you'll be responsible for everything that happens from now on. I suggest you be careful with this Loki.'

'Alright, understood.'

'And Browning?'

'Yes?'

'Find those girls, goddammit.'

He hung up after that. I tried to concentrate on driving, especially as it was getting dark and the weather wasn't really welcoming either. My mind buzzed all the way, I tried to imagine the meeting with Loki, but didn't manage. I tried to call him too. What I would've said to him remained a mystery, since no matter how many times I tried he never picked up his phone. After the tenth time I heard his phone going to voicemail again I gave up and spent the rest of the journey fidgeting in my seat.

* * *

I parked the car at the same spot Dover attacked Jones. It seemed like ages ago, like time flew by at alarming speed. I turned the engine down and allowed myself a few moments to calm my racing thoughts. I was genuinely worried about Loki. I wasn't even that bothered about the fact that we might have lost the prime suspect, rather that the impulsive detective might go down on a path I cannot pull him back from. As I was familiar with the feeling of despair, when you question every move you ever made to see where you went wrong, I knew how dangerous it was for Loki to be alone at a time like this. I gripped the wheel so tight my knuckles whitened, my heart nearly jumped out of its place I was so anxious. I needed to find Loki and speak with him, though I had no idea what I could say to him. I just knew that I had to see him.

The files I gathered from the archive were on the passenger's seat, I grabbed them and got out after a few minutes. When I turned towards the station I took a last look on my cell, hoping that it would show a new message or a missed call, even if I knew that was impossible. I sighed, it seemed to me that's all I was doing lately, and started walking towards the station. I saw a shadow move in the opposite direction, going towards the woods on the other side of the parking lot. I recognized him from his walk.

'Hey, Loki!'

He never even turned my way, like he didn't hear me. I ran after him, trying to keep the files from falling out of my hands.

'Hey, stop, dammit.'

I overtook him and stood in his way. He finally stopped, but averted his eyes, annoyance plain to see on his face.

'What?'

'Where are you going?' I tried not to sound too worried, but casual conversation was hard at this point.

He just shoved his hands in his pockets and stood there silently. I furrowed my brows, he wasn't really helping me with this. I noticed that he only wore his sweater, no coat, or cap, or gloves.

'Where is your coat?' he fixed his gaze on the ground to avoid eye contact with me, but I kept pushing him. 'Hey, I tried to call you like a hundred times, why didn't you pick up?'

'I had other… things to do.' his voice was coarse and quiet too, he started to scare me.

'Yeah, I heard about that… About Taylor...' I seriously had no idea what to say to him.

"It wasn't your fault", "don't stress about it", what can you say at times like these? What did they say to me?

'I'm not in the mood for your preaching, just leave me alone.'

He tried to walk past me while I stood there, thunderstruck. Preaching?

'Hey, hey, wait.' I stepped before him again.

Now he looked right at me, pissed off, but I saw the darkness in his eyes, the same darkness I saw in mine for a long, long time. He was close to the edge, and I didn't know how to pull him back. He was in shock, I could see and he surely wasn't thinking clear.

'Get out of my way.' he all but shouted at me.

It didn't take long for me to get worked up so I elevated my voice too.

'And where would you go, huh? Wandering aimlessly around town? Or to a bar, drinking yourself senseless?'

'That would be more like you, isn't it?' he snapped back.

I almost dropped my files, he got me completely by surprise with that statement. He managed to step on me right where it hurt, but I did my best to try and hide it. He tried to push his way through me again, but I recovered from the blow enough to shoot back at him, which, in retrospective, wasn't such a good idea.

'Fuck you Loki, really. Don't take this out on me, alright? It's not my fault that Taylor is dead.'

He stepped back from me and his eyes glazed over for a second. I instantly regretted saying that, but I couldn't take it back anymore. The damage was already done.

'You… You and O'Malley... Yes, it was my fault, my responsibility,  _I_  have to look the parents in the eye and  _I_  have to tell them we won't find their girls!' he worked himself into a frenzy, shouting at the top of his lungs 'I know I fucked up! I know! And I don't need you, Agent Perfect to tell me that!'

'Loki...'

'Just fuck off, get out of my way!'

He tried to walk past me once again, but this time I grabbed his arm. The files fell out of my hands, but I could care less in that moment. Loki was raging, but didn't try to wrestle his arm out of my grasp, fortunately.

'Let me go. Let me go, or...'

'Or what? You'll hit me? I dare you try!'

We stared at each other, both of us angry enough to snap. I calmed down first.

'Listen, we need to find those girls, and...'

He laughed, a bitter, cold laugh, chills ran down my spine from hearing it.

'Find? How dense could you be?! There is nothing to find anymore, they are dead. Dead, DEAD!'

For a lack of a better idea, I slapped him hard across the face. When he looked back up at me, slightly surprised, but still angry, I slapped him again. I put all my strength behind those slaps and my palms were tingling after that, while Loki's cheeks turned red. He put his hand on his face, feeling the skin where I hit him. He blinked hard, many times, but finally I could see some light in his eyes. He started shivering too, the cold was getting to him finally, he was recovering from the shock he'd been in all this time.

'Listen to me, you have to pull yourself together. Look at me. Look at me, dammit!'

I grabbed his shoulders and shook him slightly. He reluctantly turned his head in my way so I could look him straight in the eye.

'It's not your fault. It happened, that's it. Nothing less, nothing more. You can't beat yourself over it. I need you focused and clear. Got that?'

He stared into my eyes for the longest time. I felt that he was still shivering, and I myself was very cold by then. I didn't let go of him, I don't know why, maybe for fear that if I do, he'll disappear. While I faced him, and tried to pull him out of that darkness he had fallen in, I wondered if I had been the same. Did I spend this past half a year with that expression of self-abandon and despair on my face? Was I so deep in the darkness that it was plainly visible on the outside too? Will he ever be able to get out of it?

'Loki, got that?!'

He nodded. He broke eye-contact and fixed his gaze on the ground again, this time not to show defiance. The snow was falling, I never even noticed when it had started, but by then a fine layer covered the ground, the trees and us too. I felt him grip my hand with which I was still holding onto his shoulders. His whole body was shaking, his head hung low, all in all he looked miserable. Without thinking I pulled him in for a hug, stroking his back soothingly.

'Christina...'

'It's okay, you don't have to say anything.'

'I wish you'd been here.' he whispered, then wrapped his arms around me.

We stood like that for god knows how long, until the cold was unbearable anymore. I stepped away from him, and crouched to gather the files from the ground. They were covered in snow already, and Loki looked like his hair just went gray from all the stress. He helped me pick up the fallen papers. When I stood to walk to the station, he stayed motionless.

'I'd rather… not go back there now.' he stammered out.

I just nodded and started to walk towards my car. He followed.

'I… left my keys in my coat.' Loki said when we were already sitting in the car, with the heating on full.

'It's my place then.'

He blinked hard twice before comprehending the very lame joke, and even managed to force out a little smile too.

'Yeah… Thank you.'

'It's what partners do.'  _Usually._

'You had a partner, right? The one who died in the line of duty.'

My eyes widened at the mention of my partner. In the line of duty? I wished it was true, and not some fairytale the FBI fed the media with. But I didn't want to talk about this with Loki, or anyone, for that matter. After all this time I still had difficulties with even thinking about what had happened to her.

'I… yes, I… I did.'

'I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked.'

'No, I'm fine, just… I don't like to talk about her.'

Despite my best efforts to remain calm my hands started shaking a bit. I gripped the wheel a bit stronger and prayed that I don't flip out before we get to the motel. Fortunately it was close enough. I felt relieved when I could finally turn the engine down. I closed my eyes for a moment, which was a terrible, horrible idea, as images popped up at lightspeed on my closed lids. Painful, scarring, horrifying images. I all but jumped out of the car and banged the door behind me. The cold helped to snap me back to reality, and for the first time I could appreciate the crisp, freezing, fresh air around me. The world was already covered in a pure white blanket, which did magical things, even to the ugliest of landscapes. The snow was still falling, but the wind had subsided, so with the quiet night and the crunching beneath our feet, it was pretty close to a winter wonderland.

My room was cold like an ice cave. I turned the heating on full power and sat down on the bed, shivering a little. Loki looked a bit worse, with no coat on, so I offered him a blanket I haven't used yet. He wrapped himself in it, sat down beside me and we waited for the heater to do its job. Minutes passed without either of us moving or uttering a word. I liked it better that way, there was nothing we could've said anyway. When I felt sufficiently warm, I took off my coat, and grabbed the files from the bed.

'How 'bout we get to these? I narrowed it down considerably, but there's still much that needs to be ruled out.'

Loki looked up at me and stood up, putting the blanket down. I saw that he was still shivering a bit, which wasn't good, he must've been chilled to the bones outside.

'You look terrible.' I said which earned a grin from him.

'Thanks.'

'If you're still cold, you should take a hot shower before we start. Your chattering teeth will be a distraction.'

He glared at me, and at first I didn't know if he was offended or not. Then he blinked twice, looked down and ran a hand through his hair, as if in surrender.

'You know, I feel pretty useless right now.' he murmured.

I smiled and dropped down on one of the chairs.

'Towels are in the closet, I think. Just don't use up all the hot water.'

He nodded and walked to the bathroom door.

'Thank you.' he said, turning back, then walked in.

I poured myself a glass of water, grabbed a file from the top of the stack and buried myself in it. I don't know how much time passed, but I was already at my third file - no luck so far - when Loki popped up from the shower with only a towel wrapped around his waist. I almost spat my drink out when I saw him, but managed to keep my cool despite that somehow.

'Where's the hair dryer?' he asked, his hair hanging wet into his face.

The long strands were falling over his eye, and generally in every direction, and he had to slick them back constantly. That move made the muscles in his arm flex under his wet skin and I wondered what that tattoo he had on his forearm meant. I realised I had been silent for too long, because he raised an eyebrow, questioningly.

'I'm sorry, what?'

_Well done, Christina, that was smooth as fuck._

'I asked where is the hair dryer.' he said, and again slicked his hair back from his forehead.

I gulped, audibly.

'I don't know. Never used it.'

Loki looked lost for a moment and glanced behind him in the bathroom.

'It's not in the bathroom for sure.' he said.

'Maybe in the closet.'

I stood up to help him look. He shivered again, and stepped out from the bathroom onto the cold floor of the room.

'Shit.' I heard him curse at which I snickered. He shot me an angry look.

'Not funny, it's cold as ice.'

'What are you talking about? It's barely winter at all.'

'Hilarious.'

I turned away from him, and opened the closet on the right side of the bathroom door, while he did the same with the other one. I looked inside, it was almost empty, I had my stuff still packed in my suitcase, beside the bed. I stepped back to see if there was anything on the highest shelf, I wasn't tall enough to reach that one. There was a shadow of an object there, and a plug peered suspiciously out from under it.

'I think it's here, but I can't reach it.'

Loki stepped beside me, he didn't even have to stand on his toes to reach the shelf. He took the hair dryer down and turned to me with a smug smile on his face. Like I needed to be reminded that I was short.

'Thanks.' he said and walked back to the bathroom.

A few minutes later, in which time I managed to concentrate again on work, and somehow erase the memory of Loki's half-naked body from my mind, I heard him cursing. Then he burst out of the bathroom, now fully clothed, thank god, and slammed the hair dryer down on the table.

'It's not working.' he announced then plopped down on the chair opposite to me.

His hair was still as unruly as it had been just minutes ago, and he constantly ran his hand through it to keep it out of his eyes.

'You should invest in bobby pins.' I murmured after the thousandth time he had done that.

He looked up from the file he was reading.

'Don't you have one?'

'No, I don't need them.'

Loki swept his eyes over my head, like he just noticed for the first time that I wore my long hair in a ponytail. He frowned and seemed lost in thought for a moment, then realised that he's been staring, and quickly turned his gaze back to the file.

'Nevermind.'

We sat in total silence for at least half an hour. I stood up once and walked around the room just to move my legs, but Loki only slid down on his chair, and stretched his legs out. Outside the snow wasn't falling anymore, the world was silent and peaceful, at least on the surface. I stood by the window for some time when Loki called.

'I found something.'

He put the file on the middle of the table and I pulled my chair beside him. All the facts were there, two kids, abducted in broad daylight, there was witness report about an RV too.

'Looks like our kidnapper.' I murmured.

'Yeah, but there's something else. They've found one of the kids, a Jack Carter.'

Loki showed me the picture of a young boy, with dirty face, and a blank expression. It was much worse than a scared one, it meant that he was way beyond scared, on the border of darkness. I read the report of the FBI agent who ran the case. The boy had been found in the woods, wandering aimlessly, he didn't even remember his own name. It was four weeks after he had been kidnapped, and his system was full of LSD and some other drugs. All that he could say about the kidnappers was that he "had to get out of it", "had to find the way out".

'What do you think?' Loki asked me when I read through the whole casefile.

'I hope this is not the one we're looking for after all.'

He glanced at me and nodded, I knew he understood what I meant.

'When was this?' I asked, closing the file to look at the exact date.

'1985.' Loki answered.

'Oh my god.'

I had to stand up again, this piece of information wasn't something I prepared myself for. I paced up and down in the room, until Loki called me out on it.

'For fuck's sake, settle down, you're making me go crazy.'

I plopped down on the bed, and tried not to think too much about how our kidnapper managed to stay in business for so long and what it meant for us or the girls.

'So, what do you think that sentence means? "I had to find a way out."'

Loki poured himself a glass of water and gulped down half of it before answering.

'I don't know. All I have in mind right now are mazes, but I'm pretty biased on that part.'

'Mazes.'

He looked at me, raising an eyebrow again 'I don't know if -'

'Mazes… Where did I see...' I stood up and started pacing up and down again.

'Please, sit down. I get dizzy just by looking at you.' I heard Loki complain.

'Sorry, force of habit.'

He blinked and nodded, then drank the remaining of the water. I saw dark circles under his eyes and in all honesty he looked like shit.

'I think we need to sleep a bit.' I said.

He looked at the bed then back at me. 'I should go home.'

'Don't be ridiculous. You can take the left side, I'll go and take a shower too.'

I practically escaped to the bathroom before he could say anything. It was really a stupid idea from him to try and go home in that weather. Besides, by the time he got home to sleep, it would've been time to come back. It was completely logical to offer him lodgings for the night. Even if there was only one bed and the floor was too cold for sleeping.

When I stepped out of the shower I found him laying on his back on the left side of the bed, like I told him to. He had his eyes closed, but from his shallow breathing I guessed he was still awake. I noticed that he turned the heating low so when I got into bed I snuggled deep under the blankets. I couldn't sleep for some time, but then the fatigue took the best of me, and I drifted off.

* * *

My dreams weren't from the pleasant side. I saw her again, in the same clothes she had worn on that day, the long khaki coat and blue pantsuit. She slowly walked closer and closer to me, holding her hand out. I reached, but couldn't touch her, she was so close but still far away. I heard her voice in my head, pleading, faint.

'Chris.'

Then in her hand appeared a gun, pointed at me, and then there was a shot ringing loudly in my ear and she was on the ground and blood was flowing out of her chest. And her eyes were glazed and cold, rigid, dead.

I woke with a start, my chest heaving, breath laboured, I instinctively reached out for the nightstand for my meds. Except, at home my nightstand was on my right side, and this time it was Loki laying there. I realised where I was moments after I patted him awake. He sat up, with brows furrowed, but seeing my expression and general distress, his eyes went soft.

'Nightmare?' he asked in a low voice.

'I'm sorry I woke you up too.'

'It's okay, I've been dreaming about the girls too recently.'

'Yeah...'

I leaned back on my pillow and looked out the window, there was a faint light on the horizon. It was dawn already and if it was possible I felt more tired than I was before sleeping.

'What were you looking for?' he asked.

'I... um… My sleeping pills.'

I decided to fess up. There was no point in hiding the facts any longer from him anyway. Besides, I didn't take sleeping pills anymore, just my mind went back to the good old days when I woke from a nightmare every fucking time I went to sleep.

'Oh...'

I felt Loki stir, but I didn't look at him. I knew he wanted to ask me why I took sleeping pills, I knew he was hesitant right now, and I didn't want to make this easier for him. I wasn't going to lie if he asked, but I wouldn't tell him if he didn't.

'Can I... ask why?'

'Why did I take sleeping pills?'

'Did? Then… uh...' he suddenly got awkward.

'I'll tell you, but first you answer my question.'

'Shoot.'

'What is your first name?'

There was silence for a while, and then he started laughing. Loud and clear, a hearty laugh, one which I never expected him to be capable of right then. Then I heard the rustle of the blankets and his laugh became muffled. I looked at him, he got the pillow over his head, while laying in the bed, to muffle the sound. I took a deep breath, I couldn't be angry at him, he even made me smile, seeing how he was shaking from laughter. I waited for him to stop, but after a while I got impatient, and tore the pillow out of his hands.

'Would you stop now?'

Loki looked up at me, with a huge grin on his face and I had to fight the urge to smack him with his pillow.

'I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, but… I thought you read everything related to me, I kinda assumed you know everything there is to know.'

I didn't know if I should take it as a compliment or not.

'I don't know everything, Loki.'

Hearing his name he started snickering again, and I whacked him with the pillow.

'Sorry, I'm sorry.' he apologized, but he was still chuckling.

'Oh, forget it, I regret asking you.'

'It's David, my first name is David.'

I gave him back the pillow which he put behind his back to lean against it. He took off his shirt for sleeping, and I was faced again with his bare chest.

'Was it that hard?' I muttered angrily, looking straight at the opposite wall instead of him.

'Nope.' he cleared his throat 'So… The sleeping pills?'

I was kinda hoping he would forget that question.

'Yeah, well… You know that my partner… She died. But not in the line of duty, that was just… just what the FBI told the media.'

'Why?'

'Because otherwise they would have had to confess that she was dirty.'

'Oh… I see.'

I took a deep breath, and waited for him to ask that one question I feared above all. I wasn't sure I could tell him the truth. No, I wouldn't have lied for sure, but saying it out loud was something I only did once before. Not even my therapist could get me to say it, to admit it, out loud.

'How did she die?'

I shivered, the cold of the room raised the hairs on my arm. Goosebumps covered my skin from head to toe, and that wasn't coming from outside. I went cold to my very bones, I even felt like my blood froze.

'Christina?'

I heard Loki call my name, but didn't turn my head. Then he placed his hand on my shoulder, shaking me gently.

'Christina.'

'I shot her.' I whispered, barely audible, I wasn't sure if I really said it or just imagined I did.

'Oh, god.'

Then something happened that I didn't count on. He moved closer to me and pulled me in for a hug. He did what I did to him not so long ago, wrapped his arms around me and stroked my back soothingly. I eased into his embrace pretty quickly, holding onto his arms and resting my head on his shoulder. I struggled with the words for a while, but then they came flowing out easy enough.

'She… She did it for the money, she helped some kidnappers. The worst kind, those whom you can never be sure whether they'll return the kids even after the ransom is paid. We did just that, I went to pay, I took the bag, full of money, and then… They realised I was FBI, they knew it, I don't know if she told them or not, but they knew. They wanted to shoot me, but I was fast enough to escape, leaving the money and the kid behind. I wanted to go back, with backup, I saw their faces and all, and we had to act quickly, for the sake of the kid. But she was in the car, and I didn't know that she… And when I got out of that wretched building, with a bullet in my shoulder, and I thought I was safe, she was there. She waited for me and got out her gun, and she tried to shoot me too so I shot her instead. I killed her, just like that, I didn't even stop to think about it. Didn't hesitate at all. I can still hear her, she called my name while she lay there. She called for me, 'Chris' she said, she pleaded, and then she was dead. Just like that. And after this, after I had to... We couldn't even save the kid. We were too late, when the backup arrived they have already killed him. That boy was only ten, David, only fucking ten years old.'

'I'm so sorry.' Loki mumbled.

I held onto him like dear life and cried my heart out. It was the first time I told the story to someone other than the internal affairs agents or my therapist. Hell, I never told this much to my therapist. But somehow I felt at ease with Loki and I had to admit that just being close to him had a very good effect on me. The thought that maybe I felt something for him, something which wasn't professional at all, scared me a bit.

'I'm sorry… for dumping all this on you.' I pulled away from him and wiped the tears from my face.

The sun was coming up slowly, the digital clock on the table showed that it was 5:41 am, so we had approximately 4 hours of sleep. Great.

'That's what partners do.' Loki smiled at me.

I chuckled, I felt much better than before, despite remembering the painful past.

'So now we're partners?'

'I think so. It depends...'

I wrapped the blanket around me and sat back on my heels facing him. He didn't seem cold, despite the almost zero degree temperature of the room.

'Depends on what?' I asked, cocking up an eyebrow.

He leaned in closer and brushed his lips gently over mine before I had the chance to pull away. My mind went blank for a second.

'If partners are allowed to do this.' Loki whispered.

'They're not.'

'Then we have a problem.'

I didn't resist when he leaned in again and this time gave me a proper kiss. I kissed him back, not thinking of any consequences, just going with the flow, following his lead and enjoying myself pretty much. He was a really good kisser. We broke apart for air after a while and I glanced at the clock again.

'Holy shit, we need to get to the office, now.'

Loki followed my gaze and saw that it was now 6:04 am, and we were certainly late already. He jumped out of bed and pulled on his shirt while I just stared at him, I couldn't take my eyes off his body, which was very disturbing.

'Hey, Christina... Earth to Agent Browning.' Loki waved his hand in front of me with a smug smile on his face.

Tossing the blanket aside I stood up and grabbed his shoulder, pulling him down for another kiss. He stumbled back when I let him go to pull my sweater over my head.

'I don't think I want to be partners with you, Agent Browning.' he murmured.


	5. Lost and found

_So this is the end, the last chapter. I hope you enjoyed reading this, at least as much as I enjoyed writing it. :)_

* * *

The crime scene photos, numerous in number, were scattered around Loki's desk. I saw it the moment we stepped inside, and it was hard to miss how his keyboard was shattered to pieces.

'Wow, I take back whatever I said about you being cool.'

He shrugged his shoulders.

'You never said anything like that, don't worry.'

This comment made me smirk, he was getting back to his old self. He blinked twice, and proceeded to gather up the papers. I helped him with it, holding a copy of the drawing made by Taylor, I guessed that the black dots on it were originally drops of blood. I scrutinized that paper, it looked familiar, but I couldn't figure out where I saw it before.

'Fuck it.' Loki swore heartily beside me.

I looked at him and the picture he held in his hand, of the dead body we found at Father Dunn's place. Loki tore the drawing out of my hand and placed it right beside the picture. The body wore a necklace and on it were carved the same maze as in the drawing. We locked gazes and he shook his head in disbelief.

'I don't know how I missed this.'

He sat down on his desk, still holding the two pictures together and looking at them like it was some kind of sorcery. I, on the other hand, had the feeling that this just made things a thousand times more complicated. A piece of the puzzle was found and we weren't even sure if it was from the right puzzle. Somehow, in my mind it made sense that the cases belonged together. Some way or another, they were connected, my instincts told me.

'It's no wonder we missed it. I could hardly think it was connected to the case.'

'Which case?' he asked.

'I seriously don't know. This piece of information just complicates matters.'

'I...'

I looked at him, questioningly, waiting for him to continue. He seemed pretty hesitant, but after a while he finally told me what was bugging him.

'You see I was thinking… That body we found in Dunn's basement. What if he was really a kidnapper? What if he took children with the same method out kidnapper did? What if -'

'If they were partners? Interesting idea. But Dunn didn't say anything about a partner.'

Loki shrugged and dropped his head.

'It was just a vague idea.'

'No, not at all, you might be right, I think the cases are connected too. But I just can't see how.'

I got up and started to walk back and forth, trying to put order in my thoughts. When I realised that Loki was looking at me, as if anticipating a speech or something, I stopped.

'I'm sorry, I have grown quite unaccustomed to speak out loud when thinking. It's been a long time since I last had a partner.'

He smiled and nodded, there was no need to explain any further.

'Carry on. Just slow down a bit so I won't get seasick by following you.'

I resumed the walking and tried to put my thoughts in words in a way to be intelligible for him too.

'I got your point. And it's plausible. I also have an idea that's plausible. Let's assume for a second that Taylor wasn't the kidnapper. After all, we got nearly nothing on him. A few clothes?'

'Don't forget the blood.' Loki put in.

'Okay, right, but you said there were severed pig heads in his kitchen. The blood could be from there. Besides, you forget that Jack Carter's case was back in '85. How old could Taylor have been then? 10?'

Loki furrowed his brows and shrugged.

'But that could've been the work of our John Doe. Taylor could've been his apprentice, or something. It happens, right?'

I sat down back on the desk, disappointed.

'You have a point there.'

'Let's see what the forensics found at Taylor's, before we put together more theories. I'm not saying that you're wrong, but if Taylor didn't do it, then we got a kidnapper, still unidentified, two lost girls, god knows where and a dead poser who liked to pretend to be a kidnapper or whatever. And a connection to a long dead body in a pastor's basement. And I don't like that one bit.'

'Me neither.'

Loki grunted, stood up and crossed his arms before his chest.

'What's next?'

'You should go to Taylor's house. I'll stay here, and will draw up everything we got so far in the case. It helps me think.'

'Okay, you do that.'

He shook himself slightly, then got a sly smile on his face and stepped closer to me. He kept a little distance, but his eyes told me what thoughts could be in his head. I shuddered unwittingly, but didn't look away.

'And then, after we're finished with this case, we can have more time… for other things.' he whispered in a soft voice.

I took a step back from him, before the urge to kiss him had the best of me. It would've been problematic if someone would see the security footage.

'Yeah, well… Let's just solve the case first.'

Loki bowed his head, gathered his coat which he left here the night before, and he was off in a minute for Taylor's house.

* * *

I pulled the whiteboard in front of Loki's desk and drew out the few outlines of case. The names of Alex Jones, Bob Taylor and John Doe all got their respective places, constituting the three corners of a triangle. In the middle were the names Anna and Joy written. The three men circled the girls in an ominous way, and I had the feeling that something was missing from the picture. I drew a straight line from Taylor to John Doe and put a question mark above it. Alex Jones got a "missing" sign under his name, while under Taylor's I wrote "mazes". Out of sheer gut feeling and precision I even put Keller Dover's name up the corner of the board, close to Alex, hoping it might give me an idea or something. But this time looking at the picture didn't help much, I still couldn't see how the three - or now four? - pieces were connected. The whole case started to look like a fucking maze to me, in all honesty. While I sat there, pondering and waiting for some revelation, a lab tech walked up to me with new files in her hands.

'Agent Browning?'

'Yes?'

'The autopsy report of Bob Taylor. Also, Detective Loki asked us to look into Taylor's past. There's our report on that too. I think you will find it interesting.'

I thanked her and pounced on the reports at once. The autopsy found nothing irregular, the COD was evident. The toxicology found small traces of different antidepressants in his system, which wasn't surprising either, I guessed that he couldn't avoid seeing a psychiatrist on one point of his life. His past, on the other hand, almost floored me. After reading that report I walked to the board erased the question mark, wrote "victim" and drew an arrowhead pointing towards Taylor's name. I called Loki, who took his time picking up.

'What?'

'I found the connection.'

There was a long silence on the other end of the line and I heard the rustling of clothes and a car door banging shut.

'Shoot.'

'Turns out Taylor was kidnapped too when he was 11. He'd been found three weeks after disappearing, with massive amounts of LSD and other drugs in his system. Rings a bell?'

Loki hummed. 'And the forensics identified the blood on the children clothes as pig's blood.'

I sat down back on Loki's desk, facing the whiteboard.

'What? Then...'

'You were right. Taylor didn't do it. They might still be alive.'

'They  _are_  still alive.'

'Yeah...'

'You don't sound too happy about it.'

'No, I am happy, but… we're practically back at square one now.'

'Not so fast. Was there anything interesting in Taylor's house?'

'Nothing much. A book, Finding the Invisible Man. Does that say anything to you?'

'I know it has something to do with mazes, but other than that...'

'Apparently the last maze is unsolvable, and that's the one Taylor was drawing. The one on the pendant.'

'Awesome, and what does that supposed to mean?'

'Like I know. I thought you would.'

I stared at the whiteboard and it stared back at me. It didn't help, I had to do something, because Loki was right, we were back at square one, with every clue we thought we had slipping out of our hands. I had to stand up and walk, I couldn't stay in one place anymore.

'Browning?'

'What?'

'Just checking if you're still there.'

'Sorry, I was just thinking.'

'Tell me.'

'It just makes me crazy that I know there has to be a connection between this kidnapping and John Doe, but I can't see it.'

'Hey, calm down, and sit down, I hear you walking around.'

I stopped and glared at the phone.

'It's a -'

'Habit, I know. Sit down, please.'

'Okay, I'm sitting, are you happy now?'

'What are you gonna do next?'

I was thinking about that all this time, and there was only one thing I could do.

'I'll talk with Father Dunn again. He's our only lead.'

Loki sighed. 'Good luck with that. I'll go and take a look around Dover's house. Taylor had to get those clothes from somewhere.'

'Alright. I'll call you back.'

* * *

'Father Dunn, please, think harder. Try to remember. Did he say anything about having a partner? Or anything more about why he did what he did?'

I sat opposite to the priest in the same interrogation room we met him in before. He looked the same, only this time he wore orange, they were preparing him for the transfer when I arrived. I managed to convince Detective Chemelinski to watch from behind the glass as I talked with Dunn, I didn't want anyone to interfere.

'I told you before. He came to me, he bragged about it… He said he killed 16 children. In broad daylight.'

He was blabbering, and that wasn't helping me at all.

'Let's start at the beginning. When did he come to you first?'

Dunn looked over my shoulder, into the one-way mirror on the wall. I wasn't sure he understood what I asked him to do, he seemed to be at the end of his wits.

'It was a winter night. He knocked on my door, asking for a confession, and to hear him out. I thought he was desperate, but it turned out he was only tired of hiding. He wanted me to hear, he wanted God to hear what he did. That's why he came to me, he knew I couldn't tell on him. He said we was waging war, that after God took his son, he in turn took other people's children. He said he was making demons, to spite God.'

'Demons?' I scribbled down a few words on my notepad.

Dunn looked at me and it felt like the first time he really saw me. His eyes teared up, but he didn't start crying, fortunately. I hated when they cried.

'I told him to come back. That he could always come back to talk to me, that I would listen. He turned up about a month later. I left him in the living room, to fetch some whiskey, I said, but I took the shovel instead. I knocked him out, tied him to a chair, gagged him and dragged him down to the basement. And I left him there… Sometimes I could hear him struggle. And then there was silence... Oh, God, oh my God, what have I done?!'

'Father, Father, please… Please concentrate, this is important. Did he say anything personal? Like where he was from. Did he have a family? Or a close friend? Did he ever mention a name?'

Dunn shook his head and I felt disappointed. I really thought he would give me some lead, but there was nothing he could tell me after all.

'He said he had a wife. That's all I know.'

I stood up and put a hand on his shoulder.

'Thank you, Father.'

I got out of there before he started crying for real.

* * *

Back at the office I wrote "wife" and "dead son" under John Doe. It was precious little information, we needed something much less vague to go on. I sat on Loki's desk again, watching the board. The words glared at me, but wouldn't reveal their secrets. Alex Jones, Bob Taylor, John Doe. The latter was older than the other two by at least twenty years. He must've been Bob Taylor's kidnapper. But then how did Taylor turn to be a pretend-kidnapper, if that's really what he was? And how did Alex Jones fit in the picture? I didn't even remember why I put his name on the board at all. I called Loki to put my mind off for a while.

'Hey, have you got anywhere with Dunn?'

I heard the car engine running, and the buzz of the speaker.

'Apart that our John Doe had a wife and his son died at young age, I've got nothing. What about you?'

'Well, I found the pair of Anna's sock under Dover's window.'

That established it, Taylor was really just a fake. I went to the board and wrote "pretending" under his name. That didn't bring us closer to anything, though.

'You went silent again.' Loki commented.

'Sorry...'

'Don't lose faith on me now. Who will keep me on track then?'

I smiled and shook my head, then I realised he can't see me.

'I'm just tired, and now I really can't see where -'

An officer ran into the room, cutting me off.

'We found Joy Birch!' he shouted.

I jumped up from the desk, pushing the whiteboard aside.

'Where is she?'

'In the hospital.'

'David, did you hear that?'

'Yes, I'm on my way.'

* * *

I ignored speed limit while driving to the hospital. Finding Joy Birch was the best thing that could've happened to our case. If she could tell us anything about her kidnapper, then the case would be taking a boost. I got to the hospital just before Loki. We met in the hallway, asking the officer in duty where Joy's room was. I stayed behind to hear what the doctor had to say about her condition. Her system was heavy with drugs, mainly LSD and some other stuff too. She had some bruises from a rope tied around her wrists but no other injury to her body, no sign of sexual assault either. She wandered onto the highway and a woman stopped and took her into the hospital. They immediately recognized her and called the police. I was on my way to her room when I heard Loki shouting.

'Stop, Mr. Dover! Stop!'

I saw as Keller Dover ran towards the exit on the other corridor, he was headed for the parking lot. I ran after him, and shortly I was joined by Loki. We chased Dover out to the parking lot and saw as he got into his car, and drove away. We got into Loki's car and gave chase, but we lost him after the second turn.

'Son of a bitch, what happened?!'

'I don't know, he just ran out of Joy Birch's room like he was chased by ghosts. Don't worry, I have an idea where he might be headed.'

Loki drove us to Dover's other house, a run-down one with the windows and doors barred. It must have been empty for a long while. He explained to me that he followed Dover once, and then he found him here, possibly drunk, hiding away from his family. At least that's what Dover said. I was a bit angry at him for hiding this fact from me, but it was not the time to discuss that. Apparently he suspected Dover of kidnapping Alex Jones and looked around in the house while I wasn't here. There was a pretty good reason why he forgot to share all this with me: finding Taylor and then all that happened later erased Dover completely from Loki's thoughts.

He tore down a few boards from one of the windows and jumped up, climbing inside. He offered his hand to me, but I could manage without that. Inside the place looked even more worn-out than from outside.

'The place needs renovating.' I whispered to Loki, who got his gun in his hand in the meanwhile.

'Mr. Dover! It's Detective Loki and Agent Browning. Are you here?' he called.

Not a sound was to be heard. Loki motioned for me to go up the stairs, and I complied. We took the steps very carefully, and Loki called once again for Dover. There was a faint rustling coming from upstairs and we picked up our pace. This time I wasn't insecure about having a gun in my hand. I was prepared and my head was clear. I covered Loki while he walked the corridor, looking into every corner, but all was clear. No sign of Dover at all. But the sounds were still coming, and now we knew the exact location. Loki stood in the door and signalled to me to go and open it. I kicked it in, but there was no one inside. It was an old bathroom, with a broken sink and a broken window. And blood on the floor. I stooped to see if it was old blood, then I heard Loki whisper 'Holy shit.' behind me so I turned. Where the shower should've been there was a wall of plywood, with only a little hole on it. The rustling and some sobbing was coming from inside that makeshift cell. Loki stood there, stupefied, unmasked horror on his face. I've seen worse but it could still get me, every time, this depth of human cruelty. I ran out and brought back two hammers from Dover's stack outside. I shoved one into Loki's hand.

'Get to work.'

* * *

It was late night again when we were finished with the paperwork and reports. We found Alex Jones, but Keller and Anna Dover were still missing. Loki sat at his desk, head on his hands. I could tell that he was still shaken from the experience of freeing Jones from the cell Dover put him in. I sat down beside him and put a hand on his shoulder, trying to be as formal as I could while wanting to hug him tight and kiss him better. Besides, I needed some emotional support too, as Alex Jones' face after we tore down the plywood wall of his cell was imprinted on my mind forever.

'If only I went there earlier. But I wanted to believe Dover. I wanted to, you know...'

'Yes, I know. Please don't do this again, don't take it all on yourself. Alex Jones is free now, he's alive, and that's all that matters.'

Loki lifted his eyes to meet mine. I saw darkness in him again, which wasn't good.

'David, please, I don't want to go over this again.'

He smiled and reached for my hand, but checked himself before he actually took it.

'No, okay, thanks, I'll be fine.'

We looked at each other for a long time, and I couldn't help thinking about our relationship. We worked well together, but there was something more now, a deeper connection. It could've been just the stress and the emotional strain, but I felt something deeper for Loki than I should've for a simple partner. I cleared my throat and turned away before my face could give away my thoughts.

'Come on, we need to tell Holly Jones what happened. Can't let her find out from the news.'

I stood up and walked out of the station, not turning around to see if Loki was behind me. He joined me shortly and went to his car, then we drove away to Holly Jones' house.

'Where do you think Dover went?' Loki asked after a few minutes of silence.

'I don't know. It seemed urgent, the way he drove off from the hospital.'

'He seemed... purposeful.'

'You don't think he ran away, do you?'

'No… rather… Like he knew where to find Anna?'

I turned to him, surprised. He glanced in my direction and shrugged his shoulders.

'I know it's vague, but I had that feeling.'

'I wish he really finds her.'

'I can't believe what he did to Alex Jones. I knew he was pretty bent out of shape, but something like this… What kind of monster does that?'

I snapped my head up at that comment, something clicked in my mind.

'Monster...'

'Sorry, it was too -'

'No, it's just something that Father Dunn said. That John Doe wanted to create demons, that's why he did the kidnappings. I can see now what he meant.'

'You think that was the point? To get the parents in such a shape that they would -'

'Do everything and anything it takes to find their children. It makes sense.'

'It does?' Loki cocked up an eyebrow at me.

'Think about it. You go to extreme lengths for a stranger's child, you become affected emotionally, and it's not even your child. What would you do as a parent? I don't mean to say that all of the parents would react like this, but there's a chance, a big chance at that, that they'll become violent at some point. Dover took it very far, I admit, but it makes sense.'

Loki pondered over it for a few minutes.

'I see. They want to make crazy out of normal people.'

'I have to disagree, Dover was never normal to begin with. It takes a special kind.'

'You seem to know pretty much about this.' Loki glanced at me again, this time allowing a little smile too.

'I had to occupy myself while the internal investigation lasted. I took on a criminal psychology course at Quantico.'

'Must be nice to be an FBI agent.'

'It's not bad...'

Looking at his profile again, an idea popped up in my mind, but before I could think it over we arrived at Holly Jones' house.

Loki parked the car in the front, and knocked on the front door this time, instead of going to the back. There was no answer. I took a look at the back yard, the lights were on inside. I shrugged at Loki, who knocked again.

'Mrs. Jones.'

Still nothing. We became suspicious, so I told Loki to go inside from the front, while I take a look at the back entrance. Something wasn't right with this house, I could feel it in my bones. And there was a faint idea rolling around in my head, but I just couldn't put my finger on it. What did I say in the car? It was about demons, the parents as demons. No, not that, it was something David said, about the kidnapper… I couldn't see it clearly.

I walked to the back door and pushed it inside, it was open. The lights in the kitchen were on, a newspaper on the table, no sign of forced entry or a struggle. I moved towards the next door, slowly, cautiously, my instincts screamed danger by that point, but I didn't listen. When I heard a shuffle of foot from the corridor leading to the rooms in the front section of the house, I walked towards the noise. I got my gun in my hand, just to be safe.

'Mrs. Jones.'

As I said her name, the word "wife" hit me like lightning, along with what Loki said, he referred to the kidnappers as "they", in plural. In a fraction of a second my mind put it all together, the missing piece of the puzzle now crystal clear in my mind. I haven't paid enough attention to the woman, that wife, and that was a big mistake. I realised how Holly Jones fit perfectly into the puzzle, but it was too late. A figure stepped out from one of the rooms on the left suddenly, then I was almost deafened by the shot. It happened too fast for me to react. I only moved an inch out of pure instinct and that saved me from getting a hole right in the middle of my chest. It got me in the shoulder instead, I felt the blunt hit as the bullet tore into my flesh. My head was spinning and a burning sensation slowly started to spread from my shoulder to my lungs. I fell back and dropped my gun, while the shooter stepped closer. The light from the kitchen illuminated Holly Jones' face, stone cold, expressionless, ready to shoot me again.

'Drop the gun!'

Loki's voice seemed to be coming from the bottom of the ocean. I felt the pain in my shoulder more now, that the rush of adrenaline was wearing out. I moved my hand to touch the wound, and I found that my clothes were soaking wet around it. Breathing became harder, and I coughed up a little blood, I could taste it on my tongue.

'I said drop the gun and turn around! Slowly! Slowly!'

I watched as Mrs. Jones stared in front of herself, mumbling something I couldn't hear. But I saw her eyes, they were dead, and I knew what she was up to.

'Watch out!' I wanted to shout, but if anything left my mouth it was no more than a faint whisper.

I watched in slow-motion as Holly Jones turned, a revolver in her hand, ready to shoot. Two shots were fired almost at once, even over my hazed mind I could tell. Holly Jones dropped on the ground beside me with a hole in her head a second later. I struggled to sit up, but my limbs were quickly becoming cold and unresponsive. Loki loomed over me in a second, sporting a very nasty headwound where Jones's bullet grazed his forehead. It was close, he was so close to being dead.

'Christina, Christina, can you hear me?'

'Where is Anna?' I asked and coughed up more blood.

My lung was on fire. Loki looked around, slightly dazed, then he ran into the room Holly came out from. He emerged a second later with an unconscious Anna Dover in his arms. He stopped for a moment, hesitating.

'For fuck's sake, go! I'll be fine.'

Somehow I managed to sound convincing, because he nodded and ran out of the house. I heard the car turn out from the front yard, and drive away. I turned my head to look at Holly's body, I wanted to make sure she was really and completely dead. The pool of blood beside me was merging with Holly's blood, but it was still too big to mean any good. I felt my limbs go weaker and colder and my ear started whistling too. The pain was almost unbearable and I felt panic spread through my system. I tried to breath as slow as possible, and fished my phone out of my pocket.

'911, what is your emergency?'

'It's Agent Christina Browning...' I had to pause to catch my breath. 'I need... an ambulance...'

I felt my consciousness slip and dropped the phone. I faintly heard the operator from the other side calling out to me as the world faded into darkness.

* * *

_Detective Loki sat on his hospital bed, reading the newspaper. He had a bandage over the wound he got from Holly Jones, and his right eye was still red, it was inflamed by the blood that got into it. He swept his eyes over the center page, covering the story of the kidnappings, and how he and FBI Agent Christina Browning solved it. It was only two days ago, but it seemed like ancient history. It turned out that Holly Jones and John Doe were husband and wife, Loki saw his picture with the pendant on his neck just before he heard a shot. That shot… Christina was still in IC, hooked on life support, her lungs collapsed before the ambulance got there and she lost a lot of blood. Loki regretted leaving her there, although he knew that Anna Dover wouldn't have survived otherwise. He called an ambulance from his car but it was still a close call, for both of them. Anna Dover was now through the worst, they washed her stomach and got her on IV to cleanse all those drugs out of her system. Physically she was fine. Mentally… that was another question, waiting to be answered._

_On the other hand, Christina was far from fine. Her line flattened twice in the ambulance, they could barely bring her back the second time. And she never regained consciousness since. The doctors told Loki that the bullet grazed her artery, fortunately didn't rip it, and punctured her lung. With the amount of bloodloss she suffered, it was a miracle that she was still alive at all. Loki visited her room every now and then, when he wasn't buried in paperwork. O'Malley seemed to think that if he dumps all the work on Loki, it would get his mind off of Christina. It didn't. Even her boss from Pittsburgh called, and Loki had to brief him too. Special Agent Stevens hummed in the phone, wished her a quick recovery then hung up. Loki almost smashed the receiver into pieces._

_And now he was sitting in the hospital, again, waiting for the nurse to change his bandages. Mrs. Dover stopped by earlier with Anna, Mrs. Birch and Joy. She thanked him for finding her daughter and wished Agent Browning the best._

_'We will keep her in our prayers.' she said._

_Loki nodded. Prayers, he didn't do those. He wasn't the religious type. He just watched as Christina's chest rose and fell as the ventilator pumped air into her lungs. Her eyelids fluttered sometimes and he would think that she will wake up, but then nothing happened. He often thought about the feelings he had for the FBI agent, trying to label them. But the only certain thing he knew was that if Christina died he would never recover. He would get angry sometimes, sitting beside her, reproaching himself for leaving her alone when she needed him the most. What he needed the most was for her to open her eyes and look into his. Simple as that._

_It was five days later when he went back finally to the Jones house. There was a giant bloodstain on the floor where Christina had been shot. He had to get out of there, to the freezing air, to regain his composure. The ground was frozen solid already, and Loki couldn't help but wonder how cold Christina would be by now. He breathed out, and watched as the little cloud vanished in the air. The snow started falling again._

_The forensics still worked in the garden. They have already found four bodies, all children, between the ages of 7 and 11, approximately. Identifying them was a task he didn't want any hand in. He already made great effort not to throw up at the sight of the empty holes in the ground. Loki stopped beside the old car and watched as the forensics left after a long day of work. It was already dark and when they turned down the lights it became even darker, and silent too. One could've even called it peaceful, despite the ugly things that happened there. Loki rubbed his hands together to keep them warm, then looked around one more time. He didn't plan to come back anytime soon, that's for sure. Walking away, he stopped for a moment. There was a sound in the air, something which didn't fit in the scenery. He listened carefully, but couldn't hear anything, so he shook it off and resumed walking. And then he heard it again, still faint, but clearer. Just like a whistle. He turned back._

* * *

The nightmares were rare, fortunately. I dreamed about a lot of things, family, families of victims, of bringing home children. Anna Dover's lifeless body in Loki's arms. The deafening sound of the shot and the dull pain in my chest. Like someone sat on it, someone very heavy, making breathing painful and hard. I saw her again too, this time she remained alive. I dreamed about how we first met and suddenly the images were mixed with how I saw Loki first. That star-shaped tattoo on his neck and how his kiss tasted. It was a good memory. Sometime I fancied hearing his voice, but then I dropped back into the pool of my memories and dreams. It seemed like forever.

Then I woke up one day to some incredible pain in my chest. It felt like my lungs were on fire. I snapped my eyes open and tried to breathe, but something hard was obstructing the way to my lungs. I panicked, to be honest, and tried to tore away the ventilator from my mouth. A nurse burst into the room, along with a doctor, and they calmed me down, saying that I was on life support, and that they will remove the tube from my throat in a minute. I let them do their job, and was very happy when I could breath again on my own. My throat was sore, my lung still hurt, although it was considerably better, and my shoulder was sore too. The doctor said something about my artery and lung, but my mind was too hazy to register the information. I fell back to sleep almost immediately.

The next time I awoke I found Loki beside my bed, dozing off in a chair. I smiled, he looked good enough, with only a bandage over his forehead, where that bullet grazed him. He wasn't sleeping that deep, so when I stirred he opened his eyes too. A great smile broke out on his lips and he leaned closer to kiss me lightly. I was surprised, but didn't protest, we weren't partners anymore. Loki took my hand and rested his forehead on my pillow.

'I thought I would lose you.' he whispered and I saw a tear run down on his cheek.

I took the courage to run my fingers through his hair. I wanted to do that since day one.

'Nah, not that easy to get rid of me, Detective.'

I was surprised to hear my voice, it was rough like sandpaper. Loki looked up and I saw in his eyes that he was on the verge of caving under the stress we lived through in the last few days. Last few days…

'How long had I been...?'

'A week. A long, torturous seven days. The longest week of my life.'

'Don't be so overdramatic.'

His eyes hardened.

'I'm not kidding Christina, it was torture. If you... I don't know what -'

I didn't let him finish his sentence, I covered his mouth with my hand. Now I was the one on the verge of crying, and I didn't want to hear anymore. I swallowed a few tears and cleared my throat.

'But I'm okay, see? Alive and well… enough.'

He smiled faintly and leaned in again to kiss me a bit more deeply than last time. It felt good, it felt safe and calm.

'I'm glad you're okay.' he whispered.

'Yeah, me too. Now tell me what happened in this one week.'

'Anna Dover is fine, and Keller Dover, well... '

'Did you find him?'

'Yes. Holly Jones had a hole under that old car in her backyard. She managed to drug Dover, shoot him, and get him into that. I found him two days ago, almost frozen and bleeding to death.'

'Is he fine?'

'He's alright. Could've been worse. He was lucky that Anna and Joy found that red whistle. It was left in that hole.'

I leaned back on my pillow, feeling my head go heavy. After all, this whole case could've ended much, much worse.

'We all got luck on our side this time, it seems.'

Loki nodded, and seeing how tired I was, he offered to leave to let me rest.

'Just a minute. I want to ask you something.'

'What is it?'

'Well... I've been thinking that you're a good detective.'

He smiled smugly 'You noticed.'

'Shut up. So, I heard from O'Malley that you asked for a transfer.'

His smile quickly faded from his face.

'And?'

'And I just thought that maybe you can come over to us, instead of PSP.'

His eyes widened.

'You mean the FBI?'

'No, NASA.'

He rolled his eyes and I saw his lips forming "hilarious". I started to think he didn't appreciate my sarcastic humour or something.

'What do you think?'

'I don't know, would they even accept me? I mean I just screwed up big time, and -'

'That was before you, we, solved the case. My boss tends to forget blunders if your record is good enough. That's why I can be there too.'

Loki leaned back in his chair and looked away from me, eyeing something in the other side of the room. I let him think about this possibility. I really hoped that I could seduce him over to FBI, it would've been a win-win situation. But I didn't want to push him either, after all it wasn't such a bad thing if he remained here in Conyers. Besides, I had no idea what he wanted to do with whatever we've got between us. I didn't even know what  _I_  wanted.

'Think about it.' I said and lowered the bed so I could lie comfortably.

Loki stood up and walked to the door.

'I will. Have a rest and get well very soon.'

I watched him walk away, until he turned the corner. Then I rested my head on the pillow and thought about what I wanted from him. I was serious about the FBI offer, and I guessed that my boss wouldn't mind either, he always complained that the Pittsburgh office had too few agents. I didn't know about Loki, though. Did he have any family or friends to keep him here? I realised I knew close to nothing about his personal life. I fell asleep on the thought that that something I imagined we had was strictly connected to the emotionally charging case. And that there was nothing more he wanted from me, or I from him. It wasn't a pleasant thought.

The next morning I got breakfast, some jell-o and something which looked like liquid bread, but had a carrot-like taste. I wondered if they gave me baby food, but ate it anyway, I was very hungry. My throat was a bit better, but still sore, along with every other part of my body. I longed to get up, but I knew I would probably faint if I did. So I stayed in bed like a good patient, watched TV, slept a few hours, and then watched TV again. An officer brought me paperwork after lunch. That wasn't what I considered a good time, but I dig into it either way, at least I had something to do. The whole case was now before me, and the pieces all fitted together perfectly. Holly Jones, and John Doe, husband and wife, their son died when he was 5, been kidnapping kids ever since. A family business. What surprised me that Alex Jones was really Barry Milland. I couldn't have guessed that one if my life depended on it. I was still angry at myself for not paying enough attention to the "wife", it should've clicked, I should've known. I knew that something was amiss, and I thought myself smarter than to totally forget about the possibility of a female kidnapper. I almost got myself and David killed because of this mistake.

Considering that thought, cold sweat broke out on my body all over, and I had to put away the papers and lie down to regain composure. I knew panic attacks enough to recognize one and fortunately I knew how to deal with them too, so it was soon over. Still, I longed for some human interaction to put my mind off the "almost dead" thing. Loki visited me in the afternoon, so finally I had someone to talk to.

'How are you feeling?' he asked as he dropped down on the chair beside my bed again.

'Better a bit. I'm always hungry, but the doctor said it's just because of the IV. I hadn't had any real food for a week.'

'You look pale.'

'Shocking, since I haven't lost about 3 pints of blood.'

He shook his head. 'No, you looked better yesterday. What is it?'

'Uh… It just dawned on me that I almost died. First time in my life.'

He leaned closer and took my hand again. His palm was warm and I noticed how his hand was much larger than mine. I don't know why but it was a comforting feeling to know how much bigger he was. I felt safe again. Just because of him.

'You'll be fine. It's over now.'

'I know. Thanks, it's alright now.' I smiled at him reassuringly.

I figured that even if it was only the case that brought us close to each other, that wasn't so bad. I could do with that, if he wanted to. Just to find out if we could work as a pair when not solving crimes. Just to see him again.

'Yeah… Well… I've been thinking.'

He stared at me for a long while and I became impatient with him very soon.

'Spill it, for fuck's sake.'

'About this FBI thing. It sounds good, but...'

'But what?'

'I said I don't want to be partners with you, Browning.' he sighed, turning his gaze away and rubbing circles into my palm 'Not if we can't… You know… Whatever we have now… I want to keep it.'

I chuckled and closed my eyes, some weight lifting from me.

'Who said anything about partners? Colleagues, more like. Who meet occasionally in the office. Maybe sometimes after work too. That's all.'

A warm smile spread over his face as he looked back at me.

'That I can do.'

* * *

The End

_Thanks for sticking with me for so long and please review!_


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